Selfish One mistake, Many consequences
by JesseDesplat
Summary: Bella has managed to keep her dark secret from Edward so far, but after suddenly finding that she is pregnant with Jacob, she is left with no choice but to tell him. Will Edward be able to forgive her? How will Jacob react to the news? And worst of all, how many ways will nature find to punish Bella for her 'little' mistake?
1. Chapter 1 Truth

The time was 6:45

So there I was. Kneeling on the floor like a pathetic, useless piece of nothingness. I was trying to imagine what my ceiling fan was seeing at this very moment. Of course I should be focusing on the more important thing, but I couldn't. I just couldn't. _How_ could I bear the thought of what I was about to face? Or better yet, how would Edward take the news that-

_It doesn't matter_, I told myself. I focused on the spinning ceiling fan. As it spun around in the same daily circles at the same pace, never having to face problems or worry about what tomorrow will be like… it watched things. I had always thought of fans as watchers. A cruel lifeless soul, the fan had a full view of the area surrounding it. Silently judging. They can't speak, and they can't make their own choices, so all it can do is just keep its place at the top of my room and watch. Listen to the many phone calls I made, to all those stressful, homework-overloaded nights, and even to the smallest of snores as I slept.

It was always watching as I checked emails, got dressed, starred out the window, and most of all, it watched me at nights. Those precious moments where I sat there, in my bed alone, waiting, then, he would be there. As if I ever deserved him, or as if I was worth his time, no matter what I did or said, and even if I was already asleep, he would always give up his night and come to me. He was _so wonderful. _The fan had watched all of those nights that I sat in bed with what I didn't deserve. And now he would leave. After today, there would be no more.

_Fan,_ I reminded myself for what seemed like the thousandth time. The fan was always there. It watched my life and knew what happened. Sure the fan didn't have eyes or ears or even a life, but it was like a live object. It gave me fresh air, and did things at my command, just by hitting a light switch. The fan was like my personal slave; it listened to everything quietly, as it moved swiftly.

I breathed in a big breath, hoping the air would cool me down enough so that I could stop sweating, but that was not going to happen. I had experienced so much in my life. Deaths, evil vampires, betrayal, and pain... _pain. _So much pain. But nothing was like this. I hadn't even talked to Edward, yet I was already stressing as if he were here now. He said he'd be here in ten minutes, but he probably heard my stress through the phone and decided to run here as apposed to driving. He was always over protective. Always worried and concerned for me. He never stopped paying attention when I told him about my same, casual day. He cared _so much. _

So why did I have to get in a truck, and drive into it all, knocking it down to its very foundation, never to be rebuilt again?

I swallowed. _I'm not going to cry... I'm not going to cry... I'm not going t- _I checked my watch. It read 6:48. Edward _had _to be here by now. Our call was exactly seven minutes and 35 seconds ago... But I didn't want him to get here. I wanted him to decide he could get someone better than me, run off never to be found, and never speak to me again. Losing him like that would be so much easier than what the future held. I kept imagining he wouldn't show up, for whatever reason, but I knew he would. He always did.

6:50 Time was going by faster. The fan was spinning faster. It kept going and going, it was so fast... A small squeak left my voice. _I said not to cry! Don't cry, whatever you do! _I gulped down a bunch of air, still not helping. It had to be ten minutes by now. _Maybe he's not co-_

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see someone standing right at my door. As I lie on the bed, looking up at the fan, that stupid, judgmental fan, I noticed the dark black shape of a human. Though it wasn't a human. It was a perfect wonderful, beautiful person. The next second, he was there, beside me. Laying on the bed with me, cradling me in his perfect, sturdy arms.

Suddenly I let out a small cry. _No, no crying…_ Luckily. I was able to keep the tears in my eyes. I very surprised at that; I could never hold back tears. If only Edward hadn't heard the squeak in my voice… maybe he won't know I'm sad, and maybe I will be able to stall long enough… Long enough to get one last amazing moment from him…

"Bella?" Edward asked, his voice was clearly pained. He had that little croak in his voice, something usually only humans experienced. It was as if he were in so much pain, that he had to let some of it out with his voice. And sure enough, it was coming out. I hated that sound; the sound of him unhappy. Quite frankly, it made me unhappy, knowing Edward was not comfortable with the current situation. What pained me even more was the realization that I had, and would cause this pain that made his voice the way it was. It took me a second to arrive back in reality, and realize that he had said something else. What had he said?

"I'm sorry, what?" I asked. I froze. That sounded rude, didn't it? Great. I was already going to upset him- no, _piss him off_ was more like it. Now I sounded like I had a smart attitude? Luckily, Edward didn't seem to take notice.

"Why are you crying, love?" he asked. He held his right arm around the small of my back, holding me up I realized. His left arm was stroking the loose pieces of hair that had managed to escape my ponytail. Wait, crying? What did he mean? I wasn't crying! I'm doing a good job of-

I pressed my skinny pale fingers to my cheek. It was right under my eye that I felt wet drips of water, emptying themselves from my eye. Another way for pain to escape the body; through little drops of salty liquid.

I quickly wiped my eye, but what use was it? He had already noticed my crying.

"Bella!" he said, quietly, yet anxiously. It was killing him. _Oh just tell him already!_

"Edward…" I searched his eyes. They were a dark golden, a deep color that had no name. He needed to hunt. He needed the very thing that kept him both at peace, and slightly satisfied: blood. That was the thing that marked the very boundary between being human or vampire. I couldn't stand it, the love in his eyes. But I needed to tell him.

He reached up, catching a tear with the tip of his index finger. He then let his hand go back to my hair, but suddenly altered his decision and placed his hand around my face. Holding me there, not letting me go. How I would miss this…

"Edward" I said, and pulled my face away from him. He looked at me, very silent, ready to listen. I took one last chance at a big breath, hoping it would work this time. Instead I felt a sharp pain in my dry throat. I ignored it and looked into Edward's eyes once more. "I need to tell you… Okay first just listen. I did something… something I should have told you about a _long _time ago. But I didn't, and I'm terrible for that. I can never be forgiven-"

"Bella, don't be ludicrous. Whatever it is, I'm positive it will be okay. I will not angry with you."

"But you will!" I said quickly. I could feel the pain in my eyes, and knew Edward could see it. Was he really in pain, or was the pain in my eyes reflecting off his eyes, just to confuse me? He looked bewildered at what I said.

"What could you have possibly done, that cannot be forgiven?" he challenged. "I've done enough wrong in my life to you, that _you've_ forgiven and shouldn't have. I'm absolutely positive that whatever it is that you did, it's not that big of-"

"Just listen." I whispered, simply because if I let my voice grow any louder than a whisper, he would hear the distress. My voice would probably crack and never work again.

"Edward I…" Oh. My. God. How was I to say this? I couldn't decide whether this was more awkward than it was terrifying. I wondered if he would be angry, but I knew the answer to that before even having to find out for myself.

Yes. But how mad would he get? Would he curse and spit at me, until I cried in shame? Would he hit me or throw some of the items lurking around in my room? What if he tore the fan out of the wall? Suddenly I liked the fans presence, and hoped it stayed intact in the wall.

_You're being ridiculous. _My conscious whispered to me. Something only I could hear, since Edward had some mystery problem with hearing my thoughts. So I was being ridiculous… or was I? What if he really _did _ become as angry as my thoughts had allowed me to picture, or even worse than that? What if…

I made myself drop the thought before it even processed into a thought. Edward was still waiting for me. I couldn't leave him waiting anxiously, wondering what it was I was about to say. After all I had done… he deserved to know. But could there have been a better way? Could I have done something differently or went someplace better to tell him. _For Gods sake, tell him already! NOW!_

"Edward I'm pregnant." I said. I gasped. Had I just said it?

Yes. I got it out. The words that had been resting on the very tip of my dried tongue took a leap, and landed right out in the open. Right there for everyone to hear and see. Edward just looked confused.

"But Bella." he said. I knew how he was going to finish this sentence. I had played this conversation out a million times in my head, and I knew Edward best. This was exactly the way I thought it would go, and I was right. But for a reason I didn't want to think, I knew it was not a _good _thing in this case, that I knew Edward so much.

"Bella we never-"

"I know Edward… I know." I spoke softly. Here it comes… the grand finally. The moment, we've all been dreading. I could hear the terrible music playing over and over in my head, taunting me. It was as if the music was saying _ha ha time to talk! _Why didn't the music have a stop button?

Another breath; my last attempt at what little comfort I could possibly obtain from filling my lungs with air. It just wouldn't do it. "Edward…"

"Bella sweetheart, we never… Bella you must be mistaken, love." He laughed, but it wasn't a laugh. I had no name for the noise that sounded like a laugh, but wasn't one. I could here the pain and worry in his voice already, and for a second, I wondered if he already knew. No, no that's silly. Edward didn't know, but now, he would.

"Edward _we _never did anything…" gulp "But me and Jacob did…"

_I stared into his eyes and saw the most amazing thing. What had seemed like his regular eyes just seconds ago, was nothing compared to what they had turned into, just now. In a split second, I watched his eyes change from an aged gold, right to a jet black. That quick, as if my one, stupid little sentence had drained all energy that remained within him. His eyes…_

_Oh, How I was going to miss those eyes… _


	2. Chapter 2 Betrayal

He continued to stare. For the first time, I had made Edward speechless. This was not an accomplishment. I would have spoken his name, or said something, but I couldn't. I had just told him one of the biggest things he'd ever hear from me… he needed time to react.

He finally looked up to me, and met my eyes. I quickly looked away, not wanting him to see me. It was then that I realized his hands had dropped form both my face and back. They were with him now, and I'm pretty sure he was holding himself up on the bed, to keep from falling. My conscious was speaking to me again. It was hard to avoid hearing the constant _say something… say something…_ that kept getting screamed around in my head. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get my mouth to open.

He was still looking at me… I felt uncomfortable, him staring me down like that. _This is what you deserve… _my stupid brain said to me. I just wanted it to shut up.

"Bella…" he stopped. He really had no idea what to say. He seemed to look into nothingness for a minute, thinking. It looked like he produced a thought, because he finally looked back up to me and began to speak. "How long…." His voice was close to cracking. He cleared his throat. "How long ago did this…. Happen…" he finished.

I took a deep breath. "Two months ago." I said, very quietly. If not for his vampire ears, there'd have been no way he would have heard me.

He went back to thinking again, muttering to himself quietly. I could see him mouthing the words "_twenty-third… twenty-fourth…" _My heart sank. I knew exactly what he was counting back to; there would be no time before he realized the exact date that it had happened.

He looked up to me again, interrupting my thoughts. "It wasn't…" he looked even more shocked.

"Yes." I whispered. "That day Jacob kissed me… is when it happened." I was so ashamed. His eyes didn't tear away from me this time. He just looked at me. Not with anger, not with anything I could name. His face was a mask, hiding what he was really thinking inside.

"Edward, I'm so-"

He held his hand up, silencing me, his eyes narrowing. "Can I just ask you one question?" he whispered.

I swallowed. "Yes."

He didn't take his eyes off me. He wanted to see my face, and how it reacted. "Why did you do it?" he asked.

Why had I done it?


	3. Chapter 3 Gullible

Two months earlier…

"N-" I started to object, but it was to late. His lips crushed mine, stopping my protest. He kissed me angrily, roughly, his hand gripping tight around the back of my neck.

"Jake…" I spoke. I couldn't believe what had just happened. One minute Jacob and I are talking, the next he is trying to replace Edward. _"I'm going to fight for you, until your heart stops beating…"_

His words rang in my head as Jacobs lips molded to mine. I pulled away from him, but his strong arms held me there, forcing me to stayed glued to him until he released me.

He would release me, right? As if he could my thoughts, he let me go and stared deep into my eyes. He wasn't grinning like I thought he would have. Instead, he was watching me with serious eyes, waiting for me to say something or kiss him back.

I didn't know what to think of the kiss. I honestly didn't. A part of me had loved Jake, but not like I loved Edward. He had protected me and helped me when Edward was absent, and I had bonded with him in a way I never had with anyone else… but this? Edward was the one. The man… _vampire_… of my dreams, and nobody, not even Jacob could stop that.

I backed up. Looking at him as if I hated him with everything, but I didn't. I…. guess…. I _kind_ of love him… _But not like Edward…_

"Bella, I'm better for you. I could make you so much happier… I could give you so much more…" He spoke softly. I kept shaking my head, back and forth as I backed away. He reached me and grabbed my hand. He held it in his for a couple of seconds just looking into my eyes. I looked down to the ground, avoiding his gaze.

"Bella, you don't _really _want to be a blood-sucking monster for the rest of eternity. That can't possibly be-"

"Jacob, I'm marrying Edward." I said, looking at him now. I dropped my hand form his, and turned around.

"Wait!" he shouted. He grabbed my shoulders and turned me around, the wind whipping through my hair. Before I could reject, he put his lips to mine again. He held my face and kissed me like it was the last time he'd ever see me. It was a kiss of longing and greed, but also a kiss of love and hunger. Edward had never kissed me like this before.

I knew I shouldn't be thinking like that, but I couldn't help it. Every time he had kissed me, Edward had been cautious and careful with me. He never wanted to go too far, in fear that he'd hurt me. Always carefully placing his lips to mine, and holding me gently…

But not like this. Jacob didn't bother to be careful with me. He held my head very tightly and gripped my hair with carelessness. Focusing only on our kisses… our kisses and nothing else.

I couldn't help it. It could have been from never being kissed like this, or it could have been how much I missed Jake. I knew, in my head, that it was because I was in love with Jacob, but I tried to pretend that it wasn't that. I imagined it was only because of some small thing that didn't matter, but whatever the reason really was, I kissed him back.

I kissed him back the way he was kissing me. Not being careful and not trying to focus on anything else. I liked it. Edward would have stopped this by now. I could picture him backing away with his eyes closed, telling me that we needed to stop. I know it was because he wanted to protect me, and he said that he always _wanted_ to keep going, but that still didn't stop me from hurting every time he pulled away from me. It was _so nice_ kissing like this, and not having to be hurt.

Suddenly all of the hurt that Edward had caused me, _all of it, _just began to play in my head like a movie. He had left me, always pulled away from our kisses, and he always made me do things. Whether it was a dance, or a birthday party. He tried to force me to enjoy my human life, and tried to keep me away from being a vampire life. He always manipulated me. I _hated_ that.

Jake never did that. He loved me, and let me be myself. If I didn't want to go to some stupid school dance, Jacob would never make me. He was gentle, but not too gentle. Sure, he had kissed me without asking first, but he was only showing me my options, letting me know that I didn't have to stay with Edward.

And I _didn't _have too. I could stay with Jacob if I wanted. Edward had no say in it. If that's what I wanted to do, then I could do it! I'm an adult, while he's still seven teen!

Suddenly I was so sick of Edward, so angry with him that it made me kiss Jake that much harder. It took me a seconds processing before I realized that we were walking to his house, our lips still smashing together. He was taking his coat off, as he kicked the door open. He picked me up, carried me over the threshold and quickly made his way to his room. His kisses stopped.

"Billy?" he asked aloud. No reply. Great.

He went right back to kissing me, only stopping to take quick breathes. I ripped my coat off as we fell on the bed. He rolled around so that I was lying on his chest. I could smell his sweet breath, taste the triumph in his lips.

"You sure you want to do this?" He whispered, looking me in the eyes. I smiled, nodded, and for the first time, didn't worry about what Edward would think. I knew that with Jake, I could truly be happy.

The next thing I knew, he had ripped off his shirt, my hand on his chest, nothing else on my mind but him. Jacob, and no one else.


	4. Chapter 4 Regret

Two months earlier… continued-

_No, no, no, no, no…. _That was the only thing going through my head. I knew it had to have been a dream. _I didn't really fall for Jacobs kiss…? _Was it really just a short time ago that I decided Edward was far to controlling for me? And by doing that I…

_I slept with Jacob. _The thoughts ran around in my head for a bit, as I lay on Jacob's chest. _I didn't really mean it! I fell for Jacobs trap! Edward's not really that bad! Undo! Undo… _What could I do? Was this the end for Edward and I?

I realized that it didn't have to end for Edward and I; If I got home quickly enough, and managed to keep a straight face, Edward would never know… then again I was known by everyone I knew to be a bad liar. I have really screwed up this time, but nothing would stop me from trying anyway.

With that, I jumped out of bed and quickly pulled my clothes back on. Jacob made a weird noise as he came out of his sleep. "Wha- What's happening?" he asked lazily, looking over to me. As soon as he saw me getting dressed, he was wide awake. He sat up in bed. "Where are you going?" he asked.

"I can't do this. I need to get home." I said as I pulled my pants on. I reached in the pocket for the phone, only to realize that I had left my phone in Edward's car. _Shit._

"Bella, what do you mean?" he asked.

I looked him straight in the face. "This was a mistake, Jacob. I should never have come here. This shouldn't have happened." I marched my way out of his room and to the living room. I searched the couch for my sweatshirt. He came in after a couple of seconds. When he came in, he had his pants back on, but not his shirt.

He watched me "Bella… you don't really mean that, do you?" he asked, obviously hurt. I closed my eyes and shook my head. He can't seriously think that this will continue?

"Jacob, this isn't going to happen again. It as a mistake and…" I didn't know what to say. He looked so hurt.

"So that's it then?" he asked, stepping toward me, anger in his eyes. "You just come over, sleep with me, and then you want nothing else to do with me?" he asked. His hands were in fists, and I could see a vein in his neck.

"Jacob… don't do this to me!"

"Do this to _you?_ Bella, you're the one trying to take off and leave like I'm just some one-night-stand!" he yelled.

I looked at him, carefully choosing my next words. "You didn't honestly think that I would leave Edward, did you? Did you seriously think that you had won, and that was it?"

The vein in his neck went away, but his fists only got tighter. I watched his hands, the tightness of his skin pulling. He took a deep breath "Well, I guess I was wrong to think that sleeping together would ultimately end your relationship with the blood sucker. Go ahead Bella. Go ahead. Just go home, let him know what happened, and see if you get either one of us." He turned around and went into the kitchen. I followed him.

"Jacob, Please! I just-" Something tugged on my leg. I realized that I was hurtling toward the ground. I put my hand in front of me to hold myself up, but as I fell, my hand twisted and I ended up slipping anyway. I landed on my butt, but that's not what hurt. It was my wrist. I gasped.

"Bella?" The anger from Jacobs voice was gone… mostly.

I moaned, holding my wrist to my chest. "Shit!" I mumbled. It hurt _so badly. _

"Bella, let me see your wrist." He demanded, resting on only one knee. I shook my head, but he just kept waiting. Groaning in defeat, I gave him my hand so that he could examined it.

"Looks like it's broken. I'll drive you to the hospital." A bell went off in my head.

"No!" I shouted suddenly. He just looked at me "Don't take me, please. I just want to get home."

"But Bella, your wrist is-"

"I know it is but…" I didn't know what to say. "I need to get home. I can't let Edward know…"

His eyes darkened. He looked to the ground and studied it. He seemed deep in thought. After about ten seconds, he looked up to me. He sighed angrily, but looked to me with willingness.

"You know, you could have punched me." he said.

"Why would I do that?" I asked. What the heck did he mean? I wasn't punching him! If anyone deserved punching, it was me.

"I'll take you home. You call Edward, tell him I kissed you without asking, and that you punched me." It seemed logical, and it might have worked.

"No, Jacob."

"Yes." He said and looked back to the square tiles on the ground. "This was my fault. I kissed you without letting you have any say in it. I should have known better than to let it get this far. Come on." He helped me up and led me to his car. We drove home in silence. I studied his phone in my hand. _I can't do it… I can't…_

"You gonna call him, or what?" he asked. He was still hurt from my words.

"What's the point?" I asked. "Edward will read your mind anyway. It will be a dead give away, then he'll just kill both of us."

He seemed to ponder these words for a second before saying something. "I'll keep my mind off of it. I'll just think about how amazing it was kissing you, and how I don't regret it a bit…" he seemed to let his mind drift away. For some reason, I was pretty sure that he was speaking to me, when he said that he didn't regret it at all.

I dialed Edward's number. _You're going to hell._

"Bella? You left your phone… I'm sorry, did Jacob drive you home?" he asked.

"I'm almost there now." I said. "Can you come get me?"

"I'm on my way." He said at once. "What's wrong?" _You can't do this! It's too terrible, just tell the truth!_ I decided to tell him everything. I planned the words out; I had to put on a brave face. I opened my mouth, knowing exactly what I was about to say. I would tell him the truth. I would suffer through his fury, his yelling, his horrible words, and whatever else he decided to unleash on me. I deserved it, and I needed to be a big girl and take it.

That's what I _needed_ to do, but somehow, that's not what happened. Right as I was about to tell Edward everything, the lies Jacob planned with me, just slipped out of my mouth. I told him that I'd punched Jacob and broken my wrist. After speaking aloud about how proud of me he was for punching 'the dog' as he called him, he asked me why exactly I had punched him. And then I said it.

"Jacob kissed me." I said. Let the lies begin.


	5. Chapter 5 Denial

Edward stared at me. How was I to explain this? Every time I thought about what had happened with Jacob and I, I always thought about how cruel he had been to trick me into something like that. I had always sided with the fact that he had manipulated into having sex with him, but when I thought about telling that to Edward… my story didn't seem so innocent.

I still could have said no. I could have turned around and went straight home. Jacob would have eventually left me alone if I let him down hard enough. I was never forced into anything. Was it my mind that had played tricks on me?

No. It was me. It was just me that had slept with Jacob. It was my stupid mistake and now I had to live with the consequences. I took a deep breath.

"Edward… I don't really know how to answer that. It just happened. I was just stupid and it was the biggest mistake of my life. Edward I'm so sorry!"

He swallowed. His eyes narrowed as he asked me "When were you going to tell me?" he was calm. He wasn't growling, and he wasn't throwing things around like I had expected. He just looked calmly at me, willing to talk.

I turned my eyes back to my comforter, studying the purple designs that spun around on the sheet. Why wasn't Edward yelling at me? It was what I deserved.

This was hard to say. "Truthfully, I hadn't planned on it…" I wanted to look at his eyes at this moment, just to see what expression he wore on his face. But I couldn't. I couldn't bear the thought of looking up to him after owning up to what I had done. I was a coward yes, but I was also a sad ashamed human being for what I had done.

I realized he was waiting for me to look up to him. After all I had done, he deserved to see my tears and sadness. I slowly turned to him. He held his hand across his head, as if he had a headache. His hand moved down to his chin as he stared at me. He nodded, soaking in the information. I was hurting him.

He had a confused look on his face. "You slept with him but… you planned on stay with _me_?" he asked.

"Yeah." I mumbled. "Edward I'm so terrible! I'm sor-"

"Why did you stay with me?" he asked. He was still calm, but seemed confused more than anything. I wanted to answer him by saying that I loved him, but that probably wasn't the right thing to say right now.

"Because I didn't want to be with Jacob." I answered honestly.

This confused him further. His eyes locked with nothing as he thought. He was trying to make sense of it all, something, not even _I _hadn't seemed to do yet. "Why did you…" he drifted off, then picked right back up, looking at me again with a straight face. "Why did you sleep with him... if you didn't want to _be _with him?" he asked.

He looked concerned, and sad. He wouldn't let my eyes go so I looked away. I was such a coward. I realized he was holding my face up, looking into my eyes. "Bella, please tell me the truth." He whispered to me.

I shrugged. "Because… I don't know why, Edward! He just kissed me, and then I kissed him back and… and well we just got carried away…" he flinched as my horrible excuse began to unravel itself, so I stopped in anguish.

He sat back a little, releasing my face. "Is that all?" he asked. Still no anger.

"Yes." I cried. "Wait, what do you mean, _"Is that all?'" _I wondered. Was he expecting me to say that I had fallen in love with Jacob?

He shook his head. "Never mind that." He let the thought go. What had he meant? I wanted to know, but now was clearly not the time to press him.

But I couldn't ask him. I waited for him to ask me more questions. Dreading having to answer them.

"Are you sure…?" he asked. I knew instantly what he meant. I had five pregnancy tests sitting in my sink to prove my fate. There was no going back. What happened, happened.

I nodded. "I checked more than once."

He nodded back. He seemed to grow sad as he said his next words. "I see you've made your choice." He mumbled.

That burned. I didn't know how to respond to that. I was so... hurt. _You deserve this! This is exactly what you've prepared for all day!_ Though I couldn't take it. I wanted to run from the room and hide in a deep dark hole. My face must have showed my thoughts a bit more than I'd realized, because Edward spoke quickly again.

"Bella, you must understand. You're pregnant. It's Jacobs child, and he has every right to stay with the baby." He said.

I couldn't take it. Though I'd told myself up until this moment to take whatever bad things he said to me, I realized that there were some things he could say that I just _couldn't_ take. That was one of them. "Jacob doesn't have to know!" I said suddenly, my mouth talking on it's own accord.

He seemed appalled by the idea. "Bella..." he hardly managed, shocked. "If it were my child, I would want to know." he spoke with a peaceful face, but a fierceness in his voice. I couldn't believe it; he just found out I cheated on him and became pregnant sometime ago without telling him, and he's concerned with the fact that I do what's right? I hadn't wanted him to get mad but... this?

"I can't talk about this now." I stood up and headed for the door, but before I made it out, he was in front of me.

"Bella, we need to talk about this!"

"No." I said and tried to walk around him.

"Yes, Bella. We must talk about it."

"I can't!" I yelled, the tears were thick, running down my cheeks.

"We need to!" he raised his voice, stern.

"I can't!" I repeated.

His voice was louder now. "Why not?" he growled.

I grabbed his head and kissed him. I kissed him in a way that he would never allow, harder than I had kissed Jacob a few months back. He was here, and I was here, and I wasn't letting go. I held him there and pressed my lips to him as hard as I could. He didn't resist or pull away. He let me kiss him, his arms around my waist as he pressed his lips to mine. We stood there, kissing. I never wanted this moment to go away…

Suddenly his lips stopped moving. He stood there, without saying a word. I wasn't backing down.

I kissed him back even harder, molding my lips to his. He didn't kiss me back, but he didn't try to stop me either. He dropped his hands from my waist and looked into my eyes, finally pulling away from me. "I have to go." He spoke softly.

And with that, he was gone.


	6. Chapter 6 Shock

It was two days since I had seen Edward, and just like Jacob, I didn't regret my kiss one bit.

I didn't know if he'd ever come back. He could have been in Europe by now, maybe Wisconsin, or for all I know; he could be down at La Push, trying to kill Jacob. I cringed at the thought. Though I'd have preferred to spend my time with Edward as apposed to anyone else, I still didn't want to see Jacob so hurt.

I made my decision; today, I was going to La Push to tell Jacob he was going to be a father.

I couldn't decide if this would be harder than telling Edward about it. I loved Edward, but it was Jacob who would be the father. _Would if he blows me off?_ I wondered.

I headed down stairs, grabbed my keys and walked out the door. I sat in my car, but didn't start it. I called Jacob. I wouldn't surprise me if he didn't pick up. Every since the _"Let's lie." i_ncident, he hadn't talked to me.

But to my surprise, he did pick up. "Hello?" he asked. I could hear he stressed and tired, and ignored the small part of my brain that said to call him another day. "Hey Jake, it's me." I said, crossing my fingers, hoping that it might make a different so he would stay on.

"Oh… hey.' He responded. He clearly hadn't realized who it was I, other wise he probably wouldn't have picked up.

"You busy?" I choked.

He didn't answer; I was sure he had hung up. "Yeah, I'm really busy now." He said.

"Look, I'm on my way to La Push, I know you don't want to see me… but I have something really serious I need to talk to you about." I stated. _Please don't hang up! _

"Whatever." He mumbled. It was better than nothing.

"See you." I said but he had already hung up.

When I arrived on the reservation, I didn't get the usual Jake, running through the rocks waving at me from yards away. He was nowhere in sight. Maybe he doesn't want to talk. It's not too late to pull out…

_No, you're going through with this. _I sighed and made my way out of the car, and over to Jacobs house. He was standing right outside the door, his arms crossed. I just stared at him. _I can't do this!_

"Well?" he asked, obviously annoyed. "I'm a little busy so if you could just get to the-" Suddenly his face softened. "Bella... Don't cry. I'm just busy, okay?"

I stared at him. "What?" I then realized, too late, that I was crying. My voice was strained and my cheeks were wet. _No!_

"We need to talk." I said, pushing past him to the door.

"Yeah, come on in." he mumbled. I had to do a better job of telling him than I did Edward. I just needed to get it out.

"So…?" he asked, staring at me. His arms were still crossed. _I'm just going to say it… Then it will be over…_

"Jacob, I'm pregnant." I said, watching how he reacted. He instantly froze, as if he had turned to ice. Just then I realized that I had forgotten to come up with part of my plan… what to say after I told him.

I just stared at him, hoping he would help me with what to say. He used the couch to support his arms. He turned his head to see Billy, stunned as he was, right in the hallway.

"Oh God." I whispered as I slapped my hand to my face.

"I'll give you two a minute." He muttered, with a shocked face. He turned around and wheeled away back down the hallway.

Jacob turned back to me, just looking at me. "Are you sure?' he asked.

"Yeah." I whispered.

He nodded. He just sat there for a few minutes, neither of us saying anything. Was that it then?

'"I'm…" he swallowed, avoiding my gaze. "The… _father_ right?" he asked. I gasped.

"Of course! Who else would it be?" I said, It was so hard not to scream at him. I tell him I'm pregnant, and he wants to know if he's the father? I wanted to punch him for real this time.

"Well, evidently it doesn't really mean anything to…" he looked up to me. "Never mind I…" he was lost. He took a deep breath, and exhaled slowly. He kept nodding.

The silence was killing me. "Say something." I whispered.

"Like what?" he mumbled, steadying himself, he looked as if he were trying not to fall.

'I don't know… I… I'm sorry about your dad. I didn't realize he was th-"

"Don't worry about it." He was hardly audible. I could hardly hear him.

"Look Jacob…"

"I just need a minute." He said and sat down on the couch. He stared at the black tv screen, though I knew he probably wasn't thinking about television at the moment. I sat beside him and thought.

Until now, I hadn't thought about the fact that I was going to be a mother. I had just been concerned with how Edward and Jacob would react. Not for a second, had I thought, _wow, I'm going to raise a child. _That's when it really hit me.

_Fat, pain, throwing up, diapers, socks, milk, bottle, tiny hands, crying… _I gasped, quietly to myself. I suddenly felt over whelmed. How could I do this? I couldn't go through pregnancy, birth, and eighteen years of that! I couldn't do it on my own! I knew it was selfish, but at this point, I would have given anything to know that Jacob would be there for the baby and I. Though I didn't deserve it, I needed his help more than anytime now. He _had _to be there. He just had to.

"Wow." He whispered. I realized that both Jacob, and I were both just soaking this in. "Are you sure that your sure?" he asked. _Dang it Jacob, I- _I let the thought go.

"Positive." I grumbled.

More silence. He seemed to compose seriousness when he said, "Are you staying with me… or him?" I just looked at him. What did Jacob mean?

Then I got it. Jacob wanted to know if were staying with him… or _Edward._ Yet another shocking question from Jacob.

"Edward and I aren't together anymore." I said, picking my fingernails. Jacob didn't look surprised one bit.

"So you told him…" Jacob mumbled, soaking it in.

"Yes." I whispered, and then I froze. Edward and I... hadn't _actually _confirmed we had broken up just yet… it was just kind of implied. That still counted, right?

'Okay." Jacob whispered. I realized Jacob must not be that busy, or at least, not too busy for this. What if he became too busy to stay with me? What if he ran off with his friends and never returned to Forks?

"So what happens now?" he asked.

"I was hoping you had a plan."

"You knew about this before me..." He trailed off. I honestly had no idea what to say. He seemed to have one, so I let him speak. "How about this." Finally, he met my eyes. "Blood suckers out-of-the-way… How about we start over, huh? Why don't we forget what's in the past because… Bella… honestly I want to be there for him. And I think you'll need help with the wolf stuff.."

And there it was. The words I'd wanted to hear all day. He wasn't letting me suffer through this alone. I wanted to jump up and scream, but at the same time, I wanted to give up and cry. This was a battle that made victory hard to come by. The only way to win was to give it everything you had… until your last breath is gone.

I wasn't ready for this, but maybe with Jacob, we could help each other to be ready… maybe… Wait! Wolf? My eyes widened, had I been standing, I would have fallen. _Wolf…_ I was suddenly panic-stricken. This wasn't going to be a normal child. How could I have forgotten about this?

"I'm Jacob." He said.

I managed to create a small, but pleasant smile. "I'm Bella." _Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap…._

He gave me a light smile back. Sure sure." He said, but this time, with a real smile. And with that one, happy smile I realized Jacob was actually happy. He had a kind of excitement in his eyes… a thrilling hunger and happiness that you didn't come across to often.

I just wished I felt the same way.

_Thanks for reading this far- Please keep in mind that feedback means a lot more than you know. Thanks ;)_


	7. Chapter 7 Loss

Alice P.O.V. –

I rushed home as quickly as I could. Since my vision of Edward and Bella, I narrowed my eyes on the road, I had been very watchful of their futures. Everyone was gone. We had all left on a hunting trip earlier, except for Edward. He chose to stay back. He had acted very strangely lately, but refused to tell any of us why.

I tried over and over to see what Bella was doing, but one day it stopped. I just couldn't see Bella's future. I assumed she was with the wolves at that particular time, but it hasn't worked since. As if there were a wolf following her around…

I had planned on going to see her, but Edward had insisted I not. He explained by saying, _"Now's not the proper time."_ And I had kept my distance, for whatever Edwards reason was, but now I was worried.

Edward was home now, and something had happened. I couldn't tell what, all I had seen was Edward, sitting on the front porch, his fists clenched, his head in his hands. He had sat there for a while now, and I needed to know what was really going on.

As soon as I arrived at the house, Edward didn't avoid me now as he had done lately. He just stayed there, his face in his hands, sitting on the porch. _What happened?_ He stayed there, frozen to the sidewalk like he was a part of it.

"Edward, it's pouring rain out here. You mind explaining to me what's going on?" I sat beside him. He let one hand down to his chin, covering his mouth. He opened his other hand, revealing a note. I took it from him, and horrified, read it less than a second.

_I wish I could go back and_

_Fix everything. Edward I will never be able to explain how sorry I really am. I've been cruel, and you deserve better than me. Truly... I am so very sorry._

_-Bella  
_

What had Bella _done? _But before I could get an answer, Edward showed me what was in his other hand. Lying in his cold, wet palm was his mothers wedding ring, the one he had given to Bella. I gasped.


	8. Chapter 8 Lies

Two weeks oozed by so slowly, it was almost as if life were punishing me. I was pretty sure that was the case. Every since I had given Jacob the news, he hadn't left me alone. I stayed with Charlie, so Jacob called me every hour of every day. It was all I could do not to scream into the phone.

With that, now that Edward and I were officially broken up, time went by even slower. After Jacob and I had talked, I had come home to find him, waiting for me. We talked briefly, not mentioning that it would be our last talk. It had been one of the hardest things to keep my eyes from welling over, but I had to act like an adult. I somehow miraculously composed myself long enough until Edward left. Afterwards, I realized I still had my ring on. It had been hard enough talking to him, so I left it concealed in a note by his door.

Sure, it was terrible to just leave a wimpy little note, but I knew that if I saw him again, watched my hand as I handed him the ring… I couldn't do it. I shook the thought away, not even wanting to imagine it.

I was slightly nervous. Today, I was going to the hospital to have my first check up. I was two and a half months pregnant, so I was about 99% sure that they would be able to tell me the gender.

Jacob had _insisted _over and over that he come, but after what seemed like an argument that went on forever, he finally gave up and said he'd stay behind. Though he said he was coming next time.

I arrived at the hospital, having made sure before hand that I picked one _far _away from Forks for three reasons:

Firstly, It would just be awkward with Carlisle as my doctor, Charlie didn't know yet, and I didn't want everyone in Forks to know me as "the girl who got knocked up" That would just be humiliating. A nurse got me right to a room right away. She did the regular things like taking blood pressure, and my weight and then told me to wait in the room.

A doctor came in and asked me questions. She seemed really nice, except that I hated her that I was here. Pregnant, and in a hospital was the last place I wanted to be at this moment. I knew it was my fault, but I couldn't help but blame her.

She placed the cold jelly stuff on my stomach and ran the scanner looking thing across my belly. I didn't know the names of any doctor tools, just what they did.

She stared at the screen, both of us staying silent. She stared at the screen more. Still silence. I grew a little worried, but forced myself to let it go. She moved the tool around, from different angles, and from the right to left. Still she said nothing. She frowned. "Excuse me." She got up, and walked out the door.

I frowned as well. What was this about? Before I had time to make up some crazy scenario in my head, she came back with an older looking doctor. He was tall and lean, but age still sat clearly on his face.

He did the same as my original doctor, using the tool and the gel. He took his glasses off, and looked to me. My heart sank. What was this.

"Isabella, I'm sorry to say there is no heart beat. This happens from time to time. We've no idea why it happens or how to fix it… I'll give you a minute…"

I wasn't even listening. My chest hurt. There were dark spots dancing around the room, jeering me. It didn't make sense! I had come to terms with the fact that I was to be a mother, and Jacob the father. The baby can't just be gone! He or she is still alive. That's not the way it's supposed to go.

I realized I was alone in the room. I took a napkin from beside the sink, and whipped off the gel off of my stomach. Quickly, I changed out of the gown and back into my shirt I had put on that morning.

_This didn't really happen… He's just lying… _I told myself. This guy is a joke! Who is he to just waltz in here and tell me such lies? That was disturbing! He should be fired, I should have him reported and fired! How could he say something like that, did he think it was at all amusing?

I ran out the doors, avoiding contact with anyone. The old man gave me a sad look on the way out, but I tried not to notice it. _Some joke… _it's not even true! Why would he say that?

I started my car and drove off, the tires screeching.

_I did not let myself fall for Jacob, abandon Edward, and make myself listen to every one of Jacobs annoying calls just for this. It's not really happening. In fact, you're about to wake up any second now…_

I waited, but there was no waking up, and there was no Ashton Kutcher popping out of a bush yelling, "You just got punked!"

I looked around the trees outside. These weren't the regular trees I saw on the way home… where was I?

With a jolt, I realized where I was. I was on the road that led up to the Cullen house. Before I could make any sense of it, or decide to turn around, and just kept on going. I rushed to the door, and rang the doorbell.

Alice answered. She seemed to be taken off guard at my presence, which was strange for her since she could see things before they happened. "Bella?" she said. "Edwards not here… it's just me. Do you-"

Before she finished I just jumped in her arms. I didn't ask for her consult or explain first. I just stood there, hugging her as I cried over her shoulder.

_I can't do this anymore…_


	9. Chapter 9 Temper

Jacob called. _Of course _he had called. For crying out loud, it was all he seemed to do anymore. It was funny to me how seemingly busy he had been the day I had told him, to now suddenly be able to spare what seemed like all of his time for me.

I was back at my house now. Alice and I had talked for a while. I explained to her everything that happened, why it happened, how it happened and after lots of tears and sobs, mixed in with a bunch of hugging I decided to go home. I had been so lucky that Alice was the only one who had been there. That would have been _so _awkward running into him after all we'd been through.

I needed to call Jacob and tell him. I couldn't let him go on like this, calling and calling, excitedly waiting for the approaching day that he finally became a father. The sooner I told him… the better.

So when I caught my phone ringing, annoying taunting me, I picked it up.

"Hey." He said, happily. Why did I have to do this? No more! Hadn't I been through enough? I had went through so much, shouldn't my punishments be done for by now?

"Jacob…" a single, lonely tear fell from my eye, followed by another. _This isn't right… _

"Yeah?" he asked.

"I need to talk to you. In person."

"I'm on my way." he said. I heard keys rattling in the background.

"No, that's okay. I'm already on the way. Just stay where you are." I said back.

"Okay. Is everything alright?" he wondered. I just sat the phone down in the seat beside me, pretending as if I had already hung up the phone.

When I arrived, he was back. No, I mean _he was back. _That goofy Jacob, the one who runs through the rocks smiling and waving from a far enough distance that it didn't make any sense… he was back. It was just to bad that I was going to crash a meteor through it all.

He opened my door for me, and smiled. When I didn't smile back, he frowned. "What's wrong?" he asked.

"Let's take a walk on the beach." I suggested. He looked at me with a suspicious look on his face. He knew something was up. I hated doing this to him… I had thought telling him I was pregnant was going to be the hardest thing I ever did… Obviously, I had never considered how hard a situation such as this would be.

Would this mean we were done? Would I be lonely the rest of my natural-born life? Would Edward try to get me back? Would Jacob still want anything to do with me? Or the best question yet, why couldn't I just except that i deserved every bad thing happening to me?

I swallowed. We walked along the side of the water for a little while. Eventually, we got out of range, and I had no idea where we were.

"We're far away from Billy now. What was it you wanted to tell me?" he asked. He knew this was something serious. He had made sure we would be away from anyone who might hear us. I took a deep breath.

"I just got back from the doctor." That was all I said. I knew in that instant that I was going to cry. I would not be able to stop it, but that didn't stop me from trying. I put my fingers to my head, suffering from keeping the tears in.

Jacob nodded. "And?" he asked. "It's twins, isn't it?' he guessed.

I looked up to him, with a confused look. All I did was nod my head no. I still hadn't composed myself enough to talk. I was still working on blocking all tears. I just made my head just hurt worse.

"Cancer?" Nod. "Triplets?" Still no. "Some random disease nobody knows of?"

Still, I nodded no, pinching my fingers to my head.

"Well what is it Bella?" he was slightly annoyed now. "I gotta know."

"No." I said in a very small voice. My head ached more. "You don't want to know." I dropped my hands from my head. What use was it? "Jacob…" big breath. "There was no heartbeat. He didn't make it." I spoke quietly.

I didn't cry. How shocked I was…

"_What?" _he gasped.

"Jacob I… I'm so sorry." I said. He was shaking. "Jake, don't. It will be okay. Things happen."

"What did you do?" he spit.

"What?"

"You know _exactly _what I mean. What did you do to him?" he said, shaking more.

"Jake, I didn't do anything! I can't control-"

"Whatever!" he yelled, his arms were shaking. I grabbed them. He had to stop this. He ranked his arms from mine and backed up a little. "You and I both know you're obsessed with that blood sucker! What did that fancy rich doctor do to you, huh?" he yelled. His whole body was shaking now. No…

"Jacob!" I said, appalled. "I would never!"

"Save it!" he neck twitched. He held his head back, his hands tightening into fists. I could see veins in his neck. Many of them. "You… never… _selfish_…" he shook worse.

My first instinct was to run, but all I could do was watch in horror as his anger turned him to a wolf. I gasped. _Run! _My thoughts yelled at me. How could Jake think such a thing?

_RUN! Just get the hell out-of-the-way! _My thoughts yelled. I listened to them and turned around to run, but I was too late. He claws scraped across my arm. I didn't really hurt, but I could was pretty sure it was bleeding.

I fell to the ground and protected myself with my good arm. He pounced at me, his razor-sharp claws, scraping my arm, the only thing protecting me. I could feel his nails claw through flesh and muscle, tearing at whatever it touched. I screamed, but we were to far away from everyone, for anyone to hear me.

His sharp teeth bit down on my arm, I could hear a loud crack as the bones in my arm disconnected. I screamed louder and louder. Everything I saw was in a shade of dark red. The pain in my arm… it hurt so much…

The red tint, turned to black as I lost consciousness.


	10. Chapter 10 Scar

I opened my eyes to a white room. There were small noises, people talking, and lights beeping…

Quickly, I identified the place I was, as a hospital. I was in one of the beds… with an IV in my arm. I cringed at it, hating needles, but that wasn't what got my attention. On my right arm, there were bandages wrapped all around. I thought back to what had recently happened and gasped.

_Jacob did this to me… _At first, I was angry. I was so irritated that Jacob could think for a second that I had done anything to my baby… angry with him for harming me… but then, I felt a pang of guilt. _You deserve this,_ I thought. After all I had done to Jacob and Edward… This was karma, and it had waited a while to slap me in the face.

"Oh, you're okay!" Alice shouted, and then hugged me. She did so, very nicely, being careful not to hurt me. She had always been careful, but not like this. How badly had I been hurt?

"Alice. What…?" I asked.

"Carlisle said you were in the hospital, so I _had _to come." She said, sitting down at the end of my bed. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine." I said, using my usual line. "Is…?" I didn't want to say his name. It still hurt.

She frowned. "Yeah, he's here. He told me not to tell you, but he's in Carlisle's office." She said, and I frowned as well. It saddened me that he had to keep himself hidden, so that things wouldn't be strange… but that he was here… he obviously still cared for me. I hated myself in that moment. I hated myself more than anyone else on this earth could have hated me. Edward still cared, he may or may not still love me, but he still cared enough to hide in Carlisle's office just to see how I was. And I had messed every bit of it u. For nothing.

Alice stared at the floor. She had always been so spasmodic, from one minute to another. "How are things? I miss seeing you." I said. She stood up. She looked as if she were about to leave, but then sat back down on the hospital bed.

"Alice? Is everything-"

"Something is happening." She whispered. "I can't tell because there's _wolves _here…" She scowled with the word "wolves" and looked back to the exit. "I'll be right back." She said, and skipped out very quickly before I could stop her.

My heart stopped. _Edward and Jacob are fighting… _That was all I could think about. What if they were fighting? I listened real closely, but heard nothing. I knew exactly what this was about. Jacob was still angry with me. He probably still thought that the _"Fancy doctor_" had done something. What if he was so angry, that he did something else? I sank into the sheets.

_Go out there! Do something! Stop this from happening! _My conscience told me to do something, _anything, _but I couldn't. I didn't want to face my angry party now. I was still sure that Edward and Jacob were still angry with me, and chances are, the rest of the Cullen's, and La Push were probably angry with me as well. I had caused so much trouble,

I waited there for a couple of minutes, waiting to hear screams of anger and blood all because of me, but it never came. _Had they taken the fight outside? _I wondered.

I heard someone enter the room, but I didn't come out from under my sheets. "Bella?" a deep voice asked. I knew the voice… where was that from. Then I got it.

Slowly I lifted my head and sat up in the bed. Before I could say anything Carlisle spoke.

"Bella, I have some rather…" he fiddled. "Well… This may come to a shock to you." I narrowed my eyes. Was this news about health, or news about Jacob and Edward killing each other outside the hospital?

"Okay, what is it?" I asked.

He seemed to be at a loss for words. "This does not happen very often… No, this _never _happens, but Bella… I fear your last doctor was wrong about your recent check up." He said, watching me to see how I reacted.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

For a second he looked down at his clipboard, as if trying to make sure he was correct. He looked back to me. He probably hated me for what I did to Edward. Carlisle looked back up to me, a mask over his face. Whatever he was thinking inside, he was hiding it good.

"Bella, you're pregnant… _really." _He spoke slowly. I gasped. There had to be a mistake… there had to be! But I knew there wasn't. Carlisle knew better. My last doctor had made a mistake, he had probably had a hard time hearing the baby's heart, only because of some random dysfunction that only wolves had… but Carlisle could. It had been almost three months now, and my baby had grown enough that Carlisle could hear two hearts, thumping inside my body… One was mine…

And one belonged to a child that really existed.


	11. Chapter 11 Representation

"Are… Will…" I didn't have the slightest clue what to say.

So I was pregnant after all? This was different. I was happy… happy because I never wanted this to happen to my baby… but I didn't want to have to tell this to Jacob either. After making him lie to Edward, then my baby tying him down to staying with me and protecting our child, all the way to telling him there was nothing there and… I gulped… and then Jacob unleashing on me…

I shivered. I couldn't tell him about this. I just couldn't. I didn't know how he'd react. What if he was still angry and didn't want to stay with me? I'd rather him not know at all, than be rejected by him. I couldn't take any more hurt right now.

"Do you need anything?" asked Carlisle. I had forgotten he was there.

"Oh, no thanks… I mean…" little words. "Actually, Do you mind getting me-"

Suddenly, Alice came back into the room, her eyes wide with shock. "Bella, Jacob had to leave. He said he was sorry, _so sorry_, but there was an emergency down at La Push." She said.

"What happened?' Though I didn't want to know what had happened.

She hesitated. "Victoria." She whispered. "She's killed someone."

My head started spinning. "Who?" I asked.

"A girl named Emily. Did you know her?" she asked.

I gasped. Know her? She was Sam's imprint! Sam had loved her, and always would. Victoria was only out to kill because… because of _me. _I put my head on my knees, trying to get blood to flow through to my head. _No, no, no, no,… This isn't happening… _

"Oh Bella, it's not your fault!" Alice said, hugging me. I lifted my head. "Alice… Victoria is killing people to try to get me to surrender. She's not going to stop until-"

"Shhh. You're just upset. And don't worry. We won't let her kill anyone else. She won't get away with it. As for you." She said, pointing her finger at me. I noticed her long pretty nail. Alice was so perfect. "I'm going to watch you. You're not going to get away from me like you did with James last time." She said, with seriousness.

"But Emily is already dead! How can you stop that?"

Alice just stared at me. "We'll figure this out Bella. Stop worrying!"

"How can I _not _worry, Alice?" I asked her. "I don't want you guys risking your lives for me! Edward and I aren't…" I stopped there. Right. Edward was in Carlisle's office.

"Bella," Carlisle started, "You and Edward may not be together anymore, but as far as I'm concerned, you and Alice are still very good friends. And we still care for you. We will protect you." He reassured me. But it wasn't working.

"_Why?" _I asked, amazed. "I've done nothing but hurt _everyone._ I deserve pain and misery! Killed even!" I shouted.

"Bella," Alice argued. Carlisle stood up from his chair. "You heard him, were going to protect you whether you want it or not. Edward and the others are out there now-"

"Wait, what?" I said.

She hesitated, but probably knew I would just keep arguing and told me. "They went after Victoria."

Great. Now their family was out there risking their lives… "Alice, no! Isn't she near the wolves territory anyway?" I asked. My eyes widened in fear. They wouldn't cross the line… would they?

"Don't worry. They went to the opposite side from where they all are, incase Victoria manages to get away. They'll be there to get her. Nobodies going to cross any lines today." She smiled. She was just sure they were going to get Victoria… but what if someone was hurt in the process? Or worse… I stopped the thought.

"Now get your mind off of it and tell me something, okay?" she asked. I simply nodded. "How are you feeling? Is your arm okay?"

_My arm. _Until now, my arm had been the least of my worries, but now I couldn't get my mind off of it. I looked down at it, sick of the stupid bandages. I ripped at them, tearing them off f my arm. It hurt, but I didn't stop.

"Bella, that's not really a good idea…" Carlisle said, but didn't stop me.

As I ripped at the bandages, I thought of Emily. Poor Emily. I thought especially of her face. The scar on her face… I ripped the last layer, to show a deep, red gash in my arm. It was awful. This would cause a scar… A scar all the way across the inside of my arm… A big ugly scar that would never go away… Emily's scar had represented that she was in love with a werewolf, and always would be.

My scar represented my selfishness.

"What was it that you needed, Bella?" asked Carlisle. This scar would always be there. Every time I looked at it, I would see Jacob and I… our stupid affair… I'd remember breaking up with Edward… and Jacob deciding to stay with me… I would always remember telling Jacob about the loss of our child… About everyone going out and fighting for me…. After all I had done… It was all because of my one selfish decision…

"I don't remember…" I told Carlisle, refusing to tear my eyes away from the scar for even the smallest fraction of a second.


	12. Chapter 12 Attack

**Jacobs P.O.V.-**

All I saw were the trees in front of me. I tried not to focus too hard on Emily because- Sam suddenly growled and ran faster. I stopped the thought and looked at the trees again. I needed to keep my mind off of... that.

In his head, Sam imagined leaping at the red-head and tearing at her face, ripping her body apart. There was fear in the red heads dark vampire eyes. (In Sam's head of course) He thought about ripping the locks of red straight out of her and gnawing on her neck…

I shivered as I ran. Was that what Bella had looked like? When I…?

_Oh get over her! _Leah thought as she passed me. I was lacking behind and needed to catch up. Ignoring Leah, I thought about Bella. When she woke up, not only would she see the damage I'd done to her, she'd be alone. Someone would tell her I'd left and she'd feel like crap.

We caught up to the edge of La Push reservation and took a sharp left into more and more trees.

Bella is probably cursing at me now. She's proba-

_Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Emily! Dead! Focus on that, okay? _Leah turned around and gave me a dirty look. I thought something evil back at her, something I would never say to Billy.

Sam didn't turn around, but he growled. _Drop it._ We heard no other thoughts from him. His mind was actually silent. Man, he must be pretty messed up. I felt bad for him. He had imprinted on her and now…

At least now he could look forward to chewing on red locks of hair. I smiled at the thought. Finally getting rid of the red-head. Nothing would stop us. There were too many of us for her to survive. We'd take her down.

Sam howled as he ran, signaling that he'd seen the red-head. _Excellent. _I thought to nobody in particular.

I looked up, to see her throwing herself from tree to tree. Rather than trying to climb up a tree, Sam followed the trees the swung from. Waiting for her to swing on low enough branches.

Sam ran faster. None of us could match his speed. He was unstoppable, led by the hatred and revenge he had set for this bloodsucker.

He followed and followed her. We tried to catch up. Suddenly, she made a quick decision and turned around leaping to a tree behind her. Big mistake.

Sam took the opportunity to snap at her. He leaped up, his jaws open, ready for prey. There were shouts within our heads, shouts of happiness. Then it happened.

Red head chick was suddenly brought down to the ground… by something…

_Another bloodsucker! _Paul shouted in his head. I looked, and realized that it was one of the Cullen's. This one was the tall muscled, one with jet-black hair. I growled. _On OUR territory? _I leaped at him, ready to snap at him with my jaws and kill him. He jumped up to avoid my bite, letting the ginger-vampire get back up and run again. Sam went after her, followed by Quil and Leah. The rest of us stayed back and growled at the vampire. He ignored us and turned around after the red-head.

_You disgusting no good… _There were many words going on from head to head. Most were very bad. I joined along with them, but focused on my prey; The bloodsuckers.

I ran after him. I was right on his tail. I leaped, only to be knocked down by another bloodsucker. This one was skinny and blonde. Holding me down, she gave me an evil glare. I pushed her off and got back to my feet.

I started off chasing the bloodsuckers again, but suddenly, Sam came back, his eyes dark and angry. _Uh-oh._

_What happened? Where's ginger vampire chick? Did you get her? _We all asked. He growled and turned to the bloodsuckers. The blonde was still behind me, and the tall dark hair one was approaching her. Suddenly, another one came out of the trees.

_Edward. _Everyone all growled, but I growled loudest. Of all the Cullen's, he was the one I hated the most. I barked at him. _What the hell?_

_What are you doing on our territory? _Sam demanded of Edward. Two more bloodsuckers showed themselves. They were of the Cullen's, but I didn't care to remember their names.

_Who would?_ Leah thought.

_Well? Explain yourself! _Sam growled, stomping his paw, creating a pool of dust.

"We were only trying to do the same as you." Edward said. "Catch Victoria."

Sam barked, _On OUR territory? And how did that work out?__  
_"This isn't your territory. This is where the line clearly ends." He spoke the hell was a matter with this guy? This is our territory!

_This is our territory! _Sam yelled in his head. _You have broken the treaty. Attack!_

And with his command, we sprang into action.


	13. Chapter 13 Revenge

**Jacob P.O.V.-**

The first thing I did was leap at Edward. He braced himself and leaped out-of-the-way before I could do any real damage to him. I landed right where he had been seconds ago, and saw that Leah was jumping at him now. He swiftly avoided her leap too.

_Were wolves! We can do this! _I thought and then leaped at him once again. Only this time, when he tried to avoid me, I reached out and swatted him, knocking him on his side long enough for Leah to grab hold of him. As soon as she did, I swept into action. I bit down hard on his cold, disgusting arm. He let out a yell. I was about to crunch down harder and tear his whole hand off, when the blonde bloodsucker hit the side of my body and threw me into the air.

I caught my balance and leapt at her. Rather than running, she faced me. _What do you know? She has a pair! _I thought and used my paw to swat at her. I got in a good one. I heard my claws raking across her ugly face. _Wonderful. _

Edward was coming for me, only to be pushed out-of-the-way by Embry. He was once again tackled to the ground as Embry snapped his jaws at him. Edward pushed him up off of the ground, making Embry yelp. I growled and tore after him.

He growled back as I circled him, snapping my jaws.

"We can work this out!" Edward yelled as the fight continued on.

_What's your problem? Go back to your coffin! Not in a million years! Not with you Bloodsucker! _The thoughts poured out as the other wolves continued fighting the bloodsuckers. I hoped we could get in at least one good kill.

Edward backed himself against a tree, and hissed. "It doesn't have to be like this!" he growled, ready for any attack. "We both want the same thing. Victoria dead. It only makes sense."

_You made your decision when you crossed into our territory. _Sam thought as he tried to bite one of the bloodsuckers with ratty hair.

"We can work this out!"Edward shouted. I avoided a swat from Blondie, and snapped my jaws at her. Her face was already healed from my scratch. I'd have to fix that.

"Together we're powerful enough to take her down!" Edward reasoned, jumping in the tree to avoid a bite from Quil. He jumped back down from the tree and looked to Sam

Sam stopped fighting the dark-haired guy and just looked into Edward's eyes. It seemed that for that short couple of seconds, everyone had stopped. It was silent.

Sam stayed silent for a second then thought, _I had her until you and your little friends came along. Get out of here, now! _Sam growled so loudly, it was almost a bark. No fight? No! I wasn't going without a fight. Just as the bloodsuckers turned around to leave, I leaped at the blonde.

"Rosalie, look out!" Edward yelled. But I had her. I pinned her to the ground. She screams angrily, but I didn't let go. The other bloodsuckers ran at me, but was stopped short by the pack. And with that, the fight was back on. I turned back to the blonde, I was standing over her,

I leaned down to take a big bite out of her neck, but Edward managed to get away from whatever wolf was tackling him and came after me.

I leaped at Edward, leaving the blonde behind. This seemed to surprise him, but before he could get his thoughts straight, I took the opportunity. I bit down on his neck, hard. He out, trying to break free of my hold, but I wasn't giving up that easy.

_What did you do to my child?_ I screamed at him through my head. _What did you and your fancy doctor do to her? _

I reached down and bit even harder. I was biting into hard cold diamond. I had defiantly bitten far into his neck. I bit harder, my razor-sharp teeth ripping apart his stupid ice-cold body. Good.

He yelled in pain, but nobody came to his rescue. If I could smile now, I would. _I'll do it later. _I thought and bi into Edwards neck once again. He was yelling in pain at the top of his lungs. He really was suffering. This was a dream come true, but a bitter-sweet one.

_What did you do with my child? _I yelled again. _How could you do that to her? To my child! You and your stupid blood suckers have killed my unborn child! _

Please…" Edward begged quietly.

_You don't deserve to live! _I yelled, and bit his neck again. His hands were in fists. I saw one of the bloodsuckers in the distance. She was screaming, trying to get to Edward, but another wolf pounced and held her down. They were keeping them away so I could kill Edward. How thoughtful.

_Hurry up with it! We can't hold them forever! _Sam growled at me.

I looked back at Edward _You don't deserve to live you disgusting bloodsucker_. I bit down on his neck again. I heard diamond crunching, felt it tearing. One more bite and he was history.

"He's still alive." Edward groaned, his fists tightening. I ignored him and leaned down to finish him off.

"He's not dead! Bella's pregnant!" he managed to say. It was barely above whisper. He could hardly talk. I looked down to see what damage I had down to his neck. I could see a deep gash where his neck was splitting. He's a dead man.

_Hurry up! _Sam ordered, struggling to keep the big bloodsucker down for so long.

"Bella is pregnant!" he cried.

_Finish him off! _I heard._ End him already! I can't hold much longer! What are you waiting for?_

"Please… Bella's pregnant!" Suddenly, the big bloodsucker with jet-black hair kicked Sam off of him and ran straight for me. In a second's decision, I quickly snapped my teeth, ripping Edwards head off.


	14. Chapter 14 Retreat

**Jacobs P.O.V.-**

The jet-black haired vampire, _Emmett, _I remembered his name finally, pounced on me. He threw me to the ground like a wimpy little tree. Damn, it hurt, but it was nothing compared to the satisfaction that I had killed Edward. _Now if we can just find red-head for Sam to kill, things will be perfect._

Emmett tried to wrap his arms around my stomach, but I glided through his arms and steadied myself on the ground. This was probably my only chance. If I didn't get out of here now, big guy would probably kill me.

_Retreat! _Sam hollered in his thoughts, and everyone obeyed. We ran from the bloodsuckers like there was no tomorrow. I normally would have gone back to see if I could kill another, but Emmett looked very angry, enough that I wasn't ready to mess around with him.

As we retreated, I took one last glance at Edward. One of the bloodsuckers, someone who looked like the mother of the family, was on her knees, sobbing tearless cries. _You deserve it! _I yelled at her, though she couldn't hear me.

I rolled my eyes and ran along with the wolves. I could hear Emmett thumping behind us, no, _me. _Emmett wanted to get the one that killed his brother. Great.

_Should we get him too? _I wondered.

Sam hesitated. _Why not? _He wondered.

_Yes! _Leah chanted and was the first to turn around. Growling, she leaped at him. So did the others. I stayed behind, watching. I'd had my fun. They could have this one.

"Emmett! Stop! You can't take them all!" the mother yelled. Emmett threw the wolves off him and shot me a look. He was totally disgusted with me. I chuckled.

He ran off back with his bloodsuckers as they picked up Edwards body. Just in-case they tried to get us again, we ran back to the beach. We ran in silence. No one spoke. They just picture Edward's death over and over in their heads.

As soon as we got back to La push, everyone changed back into their human form and put their clothes on. I stayed in my wolf form. Everyone had evacuated but Sam. He came to me.

"You okay?" he asked. I nodded.

He sighed. "I'm sorry about your kid…" was all he said. I nodded toward him, meaning _sorry for your loss as well._

He got what I meant. He nodded and said nothing. He just stared at the ground. "I can't believe she's gone." He said, and for the first time, I saw a tear fall from Sam's cheek. I was shocked to the bone.

He shook his head back and forth. "Get back in soon." He said, and there was suddenly a new hardness about him and the way he spoke. "In case they come back." Sam said and turned around to leave.

Sam left, leaving me behind in the darkness. This was my favorite part. Getting to soak in the fact that I had just killed Edward. How amazing it was…

But for some reason, I didn't get that. I just sat there in the darkness, listening to the noises of the forest. I didn't happily dance around or change into my human form and go brag to everyone like I was ready to do.

It wasn't a sweet moment. I had killed Edward because of what his family did to my child, but that didn't bring him back. My unborn child was still dead, and there was nothing I could do to bring him back…

Now Bella would be angry with me for harming her, leaving her, and killing her bloodsucker. I had lost my child, and the love of my life. And for what? What justice did Edward's death bring to it all?

I wanted to see her. I wanted to go to the hospital and check on her… just _see _her. It didn't matter how angry she would be. I wanted to see her face.

But instead, I threw my head back a howled at the moon.

**Thanks again for reading, I appreciate it. Please leave reviews so I not only know how I'm doing, but how I can improve. Thanks guys ;) **


	15. Chapter 15 Help

**Bellas P.O.V.-**

_5 months later…_

It was two o'clock in the afternoon, and I was ready to go to sleep for the night. That's what pregnancy did to you. It made you puke, sleep, and pretty much anything that makes a woman fat.

I was eight and a half months pregnant now. My baby was due in two weeks. I had fretted over it every second that I was awake, worrying. I had still failed to tell Jacob his baby really was, I just couldn't. I couldn't bear the thought of being hurt again, by anybody else. He would probably realize how pathetic and demented I was, and spit in my face, telling me he'd never be there for me. I'd rather be alone than to have Jacob say the words to me, that he wanted to leave me again. I just couldn't risk it.

That left Charlie. It wasn't exactly the most charming of conversations. I was cooking spaghetti noodles and sauce when I brought up a casual "Hey, I'm pregnant." Unfortunately, I had failed to realize that he was in the middle of a drink of soda, which ended up all over the tv screen in front of him.

"WHAT?" he demanded, up on his feet at once. Maybe that hadn't been the best approach. At least It was all over now.

"Yeah…" was all I said back to him. I didn't have the slightest clue what else to say, so "yeah" sounded perfect in my head, but of course what goes on in my strange head usually makes no since in reality.

He had been really angry with me. Yelling the same old "growing older" talk at a high level of voice. It seemed he had went through all emotions at that moment. Anger, of course, sadness when he realized he was a terrible father, confusion when I admitted it wasn't with Edward, and finally, relief when I said it was with Jacob.

Relief.

Charlie was relieved when he learned he would be the grand father to _Jacobs_ baby. Relief. It had made me furious. I wanted to hit him over the head with the pot of boiling sauce, but I decided it wasn't the best idea. At least Charlie wasn't angry anymore. I would have to settle for that, but it still hurt none the less.

I told Charlie that I hadn't told Jacob yet, and to keep his mouth shut. He didn't exactly agree with me, but he promised to keep it from Billy and Jacob, if I promised I would tell Jacob before I had the baby. I still had two weeks. I would tell him. Tomorrow. Maybe this Saturday. Then again, next week sounded a little better.

Charlie pestered me about it a lot, but he didn't push too hard. Surprisingly, we were at peace. We tried not to talk about it that much, and he helped me a lot. It was a little awkward at the dinner table with my big belly, but Charlie didn't bring it up.

I crawled under the covers and closed my eyes. Who cared if it was too? I was tired. Nobody was watching me.

As I lay down, I felt a pain in my stomach. I had become accustomed to having small pains here and there, so I just ignored it. It was probably just the baby turning. It had to be uncomfortable, sitting in the same place and position for nine months.

It went away, just as I suspected, so I let my eyes shut as I slowly drifted toward sleep. I thought about the baby. This was something I had done almost every second, since I found out I was really having the baby.

What gender will it be? What will I name it? Will he or she be able to change into a wolf at the proper age? I knew that if it were indeed a boy, it most likely would be a wolf.

_I will tell Jacob. I will. _I thought. And I would. Eventually. Just not now. I was still afraid of being brought down. If it weren't for both Charlie and my conscience breathing down my neck at every second, I would never tell Jacob. I'd just move back with my mom, and try to hide the fact that I had a wolf-child for as long as I possibly could. Maybe by the time the baby was old enough to change, I would have the nerve to tell Jacob.

Or better yet, maybe there wouldn't be any vampires in Arizona, which makes someone a wolf in the first place. It made sense. Why would a vampire live in the sunniest place in the United States? It logically didn't make any sense. Maybe I would never tell my child who his father was. Wouldn't it be easier?

My breathing was starting to slow down to a soothing pace, and my eyelids were becoming harder to keep open. Sleep would soon take me. Or, at least, that's what I thought.

Suddenly, I felt the pain again, but it wasn't a small pain. It was a big pain. My eyes were wide now. _It's not for another two weeks; you're just over reacting. _I told myself.

I tried to ignore the pain I had felt and closed my eyes back. I couldn't keep them shut. I kept looking around the room, very aware of that the pain had really hurt. I sighed, realizing I probably was over react-

Then I felt it again, only this time, even worse. I hadn't realized it could get worse, but it did. _"Oh." _I gritted my teeth together, sitting up in the bed and clutching my stomach.

_No, no, no. _I thought to my baby. _You're not due for another few weeks. Just hang on. _But evidentially, that wasn't the plan my child had in mind. I screamed as I fell to the floor in pain. I landed on my back, my eyes wide in fear.

Still clutching my stomach, I turned and pressed my face into the carpet, gritting my teeth madly. I remembered suddenly, getting bitten back a long time ago, by James. This pain was very, very similar. Not as bad, but in a different kind of way, it was just as bad.

I expected the pain to stop, but it held its ground, not letting it up. I couldn't take it anymore. I reached up to my nightstand, grabbing my phone, and dialed Charlie's number. His phone went straight to voice mail, refusing to let me talk to him. Next, I called Jacob. His phone rang four times before going to a company-recorded voice mail.

I couldn't sit here and call everyone in my phone. I was desperate now. I needed to do something, _anything, _to get rid of the pain. So I called someone I knew would always pick up.

The phone rang once before a cool, "Hello?" came form the other end. _Edward. Oh how I've missed-_

The pain became clearer, screaming out attention to me. Make it stop!

"Edward…" I cried. There were suddenly black dots dancing across the room. The room itself was shaking slightly, and bending as my vision failed. "Help…" That was the only word I was able to get out before the black dots expanded to a complete and settle darkness.


	16. Chapter 16 Surprise

**Jacobs P.O.V.-**

I followed the pack as we traced the outer rims of La Push, followed after the scent of the redhead. _She's out here somewhere. This scent is too recent. _I noticed as I got a good whiff of it. Sam was anxious, his brain glazed over by the very thought of getting to avenge Emily's death. He hadn't been doing too well lately, still bound under the control of his imprint, even now after she was gone.

It scared me; the way imprints controlled the lives of wolves before me. They were so concentrated on their new love; they would jump off a cliff without realizing it. I so dearly hoped I would never have to suffer through that. How much it disgusted me, being forced to love someone, a complete stranger, letting everyone else who has an impact in your life, go.

As we followed the scent, growing fresher as we hunted to where redhead had gone off to, I thought of Bella. Once again, a long period of awkward silence had kept us from each other. It was almost as if I had imprinted on Bella. Almost. The way I was always thinking of her, worrying.

I had tried calling her, going to her house, and even waited at her favored grocery store one day. I had only been there about twenty minutes before realizing how pathetic I was, and gave up. I couldn't get her back. That was final. I had harmed her, forever scaring her arm, and killed her former love. Honestly I didn't feel bad for killing Edward. The soul of my existence was to kill vampires anyway, and it was obvious that he had taken part in disposing of my only child, just like a piece of trash. It angered me, forcing others to distract me so that I did not go to the Cullen's house and take revenge until my death came. It made me so mad, it hurt my chest and kept me up at nights.

Though it made me smile that Edward was cheated on, left, and then humiliated, being painfully slaughtered by his worst enemy. That very thought was the only help giving me a good nights sleep. And you can guess, I slept pretty damn good going to bed with the pride of killing him. But just like the night I had taken his life, I still realized that it didn't bring back my child. It never would.

Quil let out a loud yelp as he was knocked to the ground by a fast-moving dark shape. I wasn't able to get a good look at what had hit him, but I didn't need vision to smell the disturbing smell of a bloodsucker. It wasn't redhead, but it was better than nothing.

All at once, we jumped to where Quil lay, struggling under the body of a leech, using our jaws to rip the monster off of him. _Ha! One bloodsucker? This guys dead meat! _Leah laughed in her head, personally hoping she would get the advantage to kill him herself.

Suddenly, I was thrown to the ground, the breath being ripped from my lungs immediately. It was like getting smashed to the ground like a boulder. These bloodsuckers were really strong, but not as strong as us. I smiled within my head.

_You're messing with the wrong pack! _I thought, amused. I expected a couple of wolves to come and at least help me get the leech off of me, but nobody came. I noticed that there were suddenly many bloodsuckers. More than we could take. Every one of us was battling a vampire, and more were coming. My eyes widened in fear as I threw the disgusting smelling monster off of me. Where were they all coming from?

Redhead revealed herself, walking out into the open, a big grin stretched across her face. _She had planned this! This was hers in the taking!_ I suddenly panicked as I was tossed right back to the ground. There's too many of them! How could any of us survive?

I whined as the vampire on top of me wrapped his arms around my rib cage, slowing smashing in bones. I let out a rather loud howl at the pain. I struggled, pushing and kicking with all my might, but he was strong. These bloodsuckers had red eyes, resembling that they killed live human beings with their own personal lives.

I heard several bones crack, making me kick even harder, craning my neck, trying to reach the bloodsucker so that I could get in a good bite. Another bloodsucker joined him, about to finish me off. _No! I never even got to apologize to Bella! _I thought as I struggled even harder, wearing out my energy fast.

We're all dead. I heard Embry yell out in pain as another monster smashed his bones. It was terrible. Any second now, this would happen to me. I closed my eyes tightly. _So this is how it ends?_

The vampire's arms tightened around me, but suddenly, all weight was released from my body as the vampire was suddenly thrown from me. He smashed into a tree, knocking it over instantly. I turned back around to see which wolf it was that had saved me, but instead became shocked as I looked into the eyes of my worst enemy. A creature that I had _killed, _now come to my rescue.

Edward Cullen.


	17. Chapter 17 Priorities

**Jacobs P.O.V.-**

I watched in amazement as the rest of the Cullen's joined in on the battle, fighting redhead's followers.

_I killed you! _I couldn't get the thought out of my head as I watched Edward take down a red-eyed bloodsucker. _Just three months ago! I ripped your-_

I let the thought go as soon as I was thrown to the ground once again. I wasn't letting another bloodsucker get to me, not this time. I fought back, growling as I pushed my way out from under the creature's rock body. I threw my paws in front of me, raking my razor-sharp claws across his pale face. As he fell to the ground, I bared my teeth, and ripped his head off. Maybe_ t__his_ leech would _stay_ dead.

I pounced my way right back into the battle. I hated fighting _with _the Cullen's rather than against them. It really took a stab at my pride, knowing that without them, _without Edward, _we would be slowly dying at this moment. Going against the instinct that every fiber of my body held, I assisted Emmett with a swift female bloodsucker, her red eyes falling dead the second her body was ripped apart. Emmett gave me a small nod for about a sixteenth of a second, both of us obviously enjoying our kill.

I still hated Emmett, and it took a lot not to kill him, rather than the red eyes, but I had to remember that he didn't have to be here. He could have stayed home with his family of leeches, while the wolf population decreased to nothing. I was very thankful. Though I had taken his brother's life (which apparently didn't go through) I still owed him my life. His family had saved mine. But why?

Then I got it. It was Bella. It had always been about Bella. Their family was obsessed with Bella, mainly because of Edward, but they always did everything they could to protect her. They were trying to get Victoria out-of-the-way, so that there was no threat to Bella. I growled as I killed another bloodsucker. There was only a couple left, which would be killed within seconds. Victoria was nowhere in sight, she had probably ran off like the coward she was.

I stopped. There was only one reason they would still be protecting Bella. I turned around to Edward and let out a furious growl, that was partly a bark. _You're going to hell! _I shouted at him through my thoughts. He glared at me as the other Cullen's placed the dead bodies into a pile.

"I'm not with Bella. I haven't been for a very long time." He paused "In fact, you should go to the hospital, she's having your baby at the moment." He growled as he helped his family.

My body shook as I let out a roar, leaping at Edward. _I'll kill you again! You evil bloodsucking parasite! _I yelled at him. I was so furious! How could this evil monster say such things? I hated him with everything I was! I'll kill him! I'll do it over and over-

His turned around, slamming against me, protecting himself. I wasn't giving in until one of us took our last breath. _You're going down Cullen! _I hollered as I growled furiously. I didn't care if his family _had_ saved me!

The wolves stepped forward, flashing their teeth and growling, showing that they were willing to fight with me.

"Edward!' The mother of the bloodsuckers said worriedly.

"Do you think I'm lying? Do you honestly believe I would lie about such a thing?" he yelled, growling as his eyes burned into mine. I sat up and stood tall, I was not afraid. He rolled his eyes and hissed under his breath.

"So full of pride!" he scoffed. "You're far too worried of your pride being deprived even the slightest, that you don't even go to see her after scarring her precious body! That will be with her forever! Had you have just gone to even _see_ her..." His eyes burned into mine, his teeth bared. I could see him shaking, just the way we did before changing forms.

The mother of the leeches was trying to pull him back. The males of the family were at a stance, ready to fight. My eyes widened, as did the other wolves. He didn't seem like he was playing a cruel joke on me, he looked serious.

It wasn't true. I knew it wasn't. _You're lying! I went to see her many times, but she avoided me! She would have told me if she found out she was really-_

Surprising me, he walked out of the mothers baring arms and walked directly in front of me. The wolves growled furiously, Leah looked ready to leap any second.

"Go. See. Bella." He growled, staring at nothing but my eyes. His voice was very deep, filled with pure hatred and... sadness. I had never heard his voice in such a tone. I held my posture, staying tall. The next words he said were quieter, trying not to allow the others to hear, but it was a failed attempt. "Go see her, because I can't." he hissed and turned around. He reached his family and placed a hand in his pocket, pulling out a small object.

I turned to Sam. He nodded, resembling that I was free to go. Edward had to be lying. He had to be. Bella would have told me. Was this a trap?

_Go see her. _Sam commanded.

_But what if this is-_

"Oh, and by the way." Edward said. I turned back to him. He stood tall now, a stern look on his face. "Vampires are not yet fully destroyed, until they are burned." He said, throwing a lighter into the pile of dead bodies, setting a big fire instantly. Edward turned around towards his leech house, only to be stopped abruptly by a blurry object slamming into his body, smashing him into the dust. We were at our feet at once.

More red eyes came out of the trees jumping on to us. This time, redhead was fighting. She was prepared; she had reinforcements. Redhead had a plan B. We didn't have a plan B.

I started to run into the action but Sam stopped me.

_We can take care of this. Go see Bella. _He said. I looked at him. And miss a battle as good as this one? No, I would protect my family. My family was my number one priority. And this was the fight of the century. How could I just _leave?_

_Bella is your family! _Sam yelled at me. _Go see her! _He demanded, picturing the kids that he never got to have. Kids with Emily. I couldn't leave. What if we didn't have enough to with stand these bloodsuckers? I was going to stay here. Whether it was to protect my pack, or to die proudly with them, I was staying.

And because I was supposed to be an alpha, I was able to say no. Sam thought nothing back to me as he jumped into the fight. Edward stared at me in disgust; his dark eyes were burning a whole in my face from where he stood across the space where fighting was taking place.

_It's my choice you damn bloodsucker! _I thought toward him. Not my best come back, but better than nothing. It was what was on my mind, and I had spoken it.

He shook his head back and forth, disturbed with my thoughts. _It was my choice_.

In a snap decision, he quickly slipped through the trees, leaving his family behind. I knew where he was going. He was going to see her. She really was pregnant. She was really having a child now, and Edward would be there for her.

Edward was leaving his family, who could possibly die while he was absent, to see a girl that he couldn't even have. Just so that someone would be there with her. A skinny spiky haired girl (one of the Cullen's) quickly followed his tracks, coming with him to find Bella.

I wanted to stop him. I wanted to chase after him, take his life again, and then go to Bella, but I had to do what was important first. This was my main priority.

As the fire of dead bodies lit up into tall flames, the fight continued. I leaped at a red-eyed bloodsucker, ripping his body into three, quickly taking Bella off of my mind.


	18. Chapter 18 Clear

**Alice's P.O.V.-**

Bella had already had the baby; I knew this as a result that my gift worked on her once again. I had been unable to see visions of her while she was pregnant, but now I saw her clearly. The baby must be away from her, probably in another room where the newborn babies were placed.

I couldn't figure out what was going on, but there was a doctor standing at the foot of her bed, staring at a chart with a confused look on his face. It worried me a little, but not as much as it did Edward.

Seeing my visions, he went straight into Bella's room where she lay unconscious and picked up the chart as soon as the doctor turned away. His face flinched, as if he had heard the doctor think something about Bella's health. I tried to ignore it, but I knew something wasn't right.

Trying to distract myself, I thought back to the battle that had occurred back at La Push, wondering if it was still going on. Should I have stayed? Would it have been better had I stayed back with them and helped? I wanted to be better than that nasty werewolf, Jacob was his name, and be there for Bella in his place, but I still couldn't help but wonder.

I tried keeping up with what was going on back in the forest, but there were far too many wolves to even retrieve a fuzzy picture of the battle. Sighing, I focused on Bella, wondering once again how she was doing.

I thought about Bella in the hospital bed, and my brain was suddenly pulling in the sight of a scene, about to take place in exactly thirty-two seconds. An image of doctors surrounding her, the loud sound of the heart monitor blaring out for attention, stressed looks on their faces as Bella lay very still.

Before the vision had completed itself, Edward's head snapped back to look at me, terror in his eyes, and in less than another second, he had turned back to Bella, his hand on her cheek. "Bella?" he whispered, his voice shaky, especially for a vampire. He waited for no more than a second and a half before yelling for Carlisle.

"Bella?" he asked again, shaking her a little, but she did not respond. A number on the screen at her bedside suddenly dropped, and let out a small noise as it did so. Seconds later, it dropped again. Edward panicked then, rushing out of the room way faster than he should have in front of the humans to get Carlisle. Luckily none of them noticed, and normally I would have laughed at how naive humans were, but when the number dropped a third time, it was all I could focus on.

As Edward reentered the room with Carlisle, I tried to see the vision again, hoping it would be better. I opened my mouth to tell Carlisle what I had seen, but I suddenly didn't need to, as what I had seen suddenly began to take place. The machine with the numbers began to beep loudly, as well as the one beside it. I noticed then that Bella looked very pale, something I had not noticed in my vision. _Bella!_

"What's going on?" a female doctor asked quickly as a small staff rushed in behind her with a cart filled with tools. She looked up to me, then Edward. "I need you two out." she demanded, without waiting to see what we said.

"April, I've got this." Carlisle said at the very same time Edward said "I'm not leaving." nearly growling at her.

"Carlisle it is policy that-"

"I've got this." Carlisle said again, in a voice he didn't use often. I never saw Carlisle angry, it just never happened. "You can _leave_ now." he said sternly as one of the assistants handed Carlisle a scalpel. Silently angered, April walked out of the room, avoiding eye contact with everyone.

Carlisle hesitated, and before he could even look at him, Edward growled 'No."

"Edward you don't want to see this." he argued. We both knew it was also because there was about to be blood, but Edward didn't seem to care. Carlisle looked at the lowering number on the machine behind him.

"I'm not leaving-"

"Edward she doesn't have much time, do you want me to save her or not?" Carlisle demanded, the scalpel still ready in his hand. His face showing horror and defeat, Edward stepped out of the room quickly, doing as our adopted father said.

I started to ask if I should leave to, but Carlisle already began cutting a perfect line into Bella's stomach with the tool in his hand. Carlisle must not have realized I was here or he would have-

Blood.

Sweet, sweet, warm blood. The beautiful scent filled my nostrils, intoxicating me. My fingers tightened into fists, my knees bending into a crouch; I wasted no time. I only just barely began to pounce when Edward, suddenly back in the room, smashed into me, throwing me to the floor. The nurses gasped, one of them kneeling beside me to see if I was okay.

"Focus." Carlisle demanded as the machines still rang, the number now dangerously low. As the nurses went back to helping him, Edward picked me up and half helped me back out of the room. Only a few moments later, my brain began to clear, and horror struck me as I realized what had almost happened. I gasped.

"E-"

"It's alright." he said lowly. "Nothing happened."

"But-"

"Alice," he breathed. "please." His eyes were closed, and I realized he was listening to every thought from Carlisle. He couldn't see what was happening, but he could hear all of it, which made Edward leaving almost pointless. I sighed, still unable to stop the memories of what I had been about to do to Bella. I had told Bella that we were here to protect her, and I had just tried to do quite the opposite. She would be angry if she knew what I had almost done to her. She would probably-

Edward turned to me, a sad look on his face. "You've no reason to mentally punish yourself, you did not hurt her." he said, closing his yes and leaning his head against the wall behind him. "But I have." he whispered then, mostly to himself. I started to object to the last thing he said, when suddenly a nurse said "Clear!" Edward flinched at the sound of the shock that was being used to try and bring Bella back.

"Tell em what you see." Edward demanded, his eyes still closed. His fists were clenched so tightly that they were slightly whiter than the rest of his skin. I crossed my arms, knowing that it would not be a good idea to see what was going to happen. Any number of things could set Edward off.

His eyes opened then, anger rather than sadness in them. "Tell me." he said, but I still did not listen. I prepared for his temper to suddenly get the best of him, but instead, he surprised me by letting his head fall, his face squeezed in pain. "Clear!" I heard again. "Please Alice. I need to know." he begged, his eyes pleading as he watched me. I looked to the ground and sighed. This was not a good idea.

"Thank you." Edward whispered, thankful. So used to it that I didn't even have to try, I pictured Bella and brought about a sight, 347 seconds from now, of Carlisle in front of Bella's bed, the nurses exiting the room. Edward exhaled, relieved, not realizing that the vision had not yet ended. As Carlisle put his head in his hands, I realized the nurses were not leaving because they had saved Bella, they were leaving because there was nothing else they could do for her.

"Edward!" I squeaked horribly, but he was already back in Bella's room. I tried to wait, but I didn't have the patience. I went back to the vision, hoping for it to change. Nothing. I balanced from my left foot to my right foot as humans did to try to comfort themselves, but it did nothing. I tried again, but Bella still-

The vision changed then. I watched what was occurring in the room next to me, seconds before it actually happened. Carlisle saying 'clear' as Edward watched in horror, trying to think of something he could do. Carlisle tried again, pumping electricity through her chest to try and restart her heart but there was still nothing. Edward ran his hands through his hair, his eyes shooting back and forth between the numbers, Bella's face, Carlisle trying to revive her, back to the numbers again. He repeated this faster and faster until finally, he broke.

"Carlisle." he choked, his breathing very ragged. Still determined, Carlisle kept trying, but even the nurses behind him were watching on sadly, two of them crying silently as he tried and tried, but failed. a full three seconds passed, three seconds that had not happened yet, and it felt like the longest three seconds of my lifetime. A small beep came from the heart machine behind Carlisle, and everyone's eyes went straight to it, but there wasn't another beat. Desperate then, Edward leaned down and put his lips to Bella's breathing in and out heavily for her. 6 seconds later, he pressed his hands to her chest, trying to pump her lungs. "Bella." he moaned horribly. One of the nurses covered her mouth with her hands, struggling now to maintain herself.

He pressed into her chest with his hands again, murmuring one two and three. He took in a large breath before breathing pressing his lips back to hers, forcing air into her lungs. Another small beta from the machines, and the nurses eyes widened, shocked, but it didn't last long as the machines made no other noises again.

"Bella..." Edward choked out again. "Please..."

"Edward..." Carlisle whispered to him, doing nothing anymore for her.

"Why are you standing there? Help her!" Edward turned to the nurses. "Do something!"

The nurses eyed Carlisle as Edward breathed into Bella's mouth again. Carlisle looked from them to Edward. He placed his hand on Edward's shoulder, but he pushed it away, focusing only on Bella. Carlisle narrowed his eyes, "Edward she's g-"

The monitor beeped again, and this time it didn't stay silent. It beeped again a few seconds later. Triumphant, Edward pushed on her chest, harder now, but not hard enough to break one of her ribs. Another beep...

I rushed into the room then, watching as what I had just seen occur. Edward met my eyes for a fraction of a second before switching back to her chest. There was another beep, then another, and though it was very weak, I could hear Bella's heart beat ever so softly in her chest, much slower than the regular healthy heart. The nurses could not hear it, but I could, and I knew Edward heard it too as Bella's heart thumped with all that it had to keep going. It was not a heart that could keep at this for long.

Carlisle looked to Edward, not celebrating and smiling as the nurses in the room did. "Edward." Carlisle said to him.

"I know." he mumbled, quiet enough so that the others in the room could not hear him. Finally, after checking a few things, the nurses exited with their equipment. Carlisle started immediately.

"Edward, you know that there's nothing we can do for her." he spoke peacefully, but sternly none the less.

"I know" was all he said as he studied Bella's face.

"And you know that you're only making her suffer at this point?" our father added.

"I know."

Carlisle's brows furrowed. "Then why did you do this?"

Edward studied her another moment before looking back to him, "I... don't know." he whispered, but we knew, we all knew. He couldn't let go.

He took a chair then, sitting beside her bed and taking her hand in his softly. He showed no sign of leaving, so Carlisle and I exited, leaving him to privacy. Once outside, Carlisle sighed heavily, stressed. He checked a random chart, not actually looking at it, then sat it back down, his face sad. "I'm sorry Alice." he said to me, staring at the small cracks in the tile floor that humans could not see.

I frowned, confused. Without having to ask, he explained to me. "I should have had you leave too, I wasn't thinking. I was so focused on Bella... I should have... I could have..." he stopped shaking his head.

"You were focused. Anyone could have messed up in a situation like that..."

He sighed. "How much longer does she have?" he asked quieter, probably hoping Edward could not hear him. Sad at having to even do it, I dove into the future with my mind, trying to see the exact moment that Bella's heart finally became unable to take anymore of the strain. I gasped when I realized just how much time it was. I knew she didn't have much time left but...

Carlisle nodded. "That's what i thought." he said, not even having to ask. I stared at the tile on the floor as well, but did not focus on it. My lip quivered slightly, not knowing what to say or do... It hit me then. All of those images of helping Bella find a wedding dress, seeing her with her red eyes for the first time, helping her through her first newborn crazed year, forcing hundreds of outfits on her... even when her and Bella had separated, I had still believed in these things happening, but now that I'd seen her... her...

Carlisle and I both looked up from our thoughts at the sound of a wolf howling outside of the hospital. It was broad daylight, and the wolves never left their territory. Something wasn't right.

Carlisle took a step forward as if to go and do something, but stopped. He turned to me. "What do they want?" he asked, but he already knew that I couldn't see.

"I don't know." I said, but what ever it was, it couldn't be good.

**Don't worry about Bella too much, this story is just getting started :) I'll update as soon as I can, thank you for reading! Reviews are appreciated greatly!**


	19. Chapter 19 Mercy

**Bella's P.O.V.-**

My eyes shot open to see Edward. _Edward. _My eyes widened and I pushed off with my arms to sit up, but couldn't. I felt really weak and dizzy; it took everything I had to keep my eyes open. It suddenly felt like everything had crashed down on me. I didn't have enough energy to sit up, and I was taking breathes in gasps. My eyes felt heavier than ever. Was this what pregnancy was like?

Edward held his arm out to stop me from where he was at the end of my bed. "Stay there. You're tired, and you need to save your energy." His voice had a husky tone to it, almost as if he had a hard time talking.

Was this a dream? Why was Edward here? I hadn't seen him since I had stupidly broken off our engagement, which had been many months ago. Why would he go out of his way to see me?

A dizzying sensation tumbled over me at once. I felt as if I were growing weaker with every breath I drew. Experimentally, I stopped breathing, just to see if I would feel more of the energy I had lost. Instead, my head seemed to spin, and dots danced around the room.

"Bella, breath." Edward commanded, standing up suddenly, his face held in a twist of terror. What was the matter with him?

"Ed... Ed... ward?" I asked.

Torture welled up in his eyes the way tears would for a human. Edward looked like he'd committed the worst sin possible, and was now suffering through both physical and mental pain because of it. Something was terribly wrong. Was he furious with me now that I had the baby?

He saw my concerned face and immediately sat back down beside the bed. He still didn't better. I watched as he struggled to compose his face to a mask of hidden pain, but it never happened. The face of worry and strife remained. I had never seen Edward unable to put on a poker face. He was really mad with me…

"Edw... wha... t's... _wrong_?" I asked. The black dots were back again, and I suddenly felt as if I were going to be sick. Trying to hold it down, I crawled deep into the sheets and held my stomach. My arms felt weak and powerless, along with the rest of my body. It was hard just keeping my arms securely around myself. I shut my eyes tightly and held them closed for a couple of seconds before opening them my eyes was a challenge, the way it would be for a dead phone to try and turn back on.

The dots were only worse. I officially decided that I would never again have a kid. This was terrible! All of this just to have one child? It seemed too much. Between the pain of giving birth and nine months pregnancy alone, the terrors of having a child should have all been gone by now. Was this the after-pregnancy stage? How long would I go through this before I was back to my normal self again?

"Bella." Edward struggled. His hands clutched into fists and back again; his eyes pulled together as he focused on nothing in particular. Whatever it was he wanted to tell me, it seemed as if it were too hard to form into words. What could _possibly _be harder than when we broke off our engagement?

"Bella." He repeated my name, not for me, but for him. Even with the speed of how quickly he could think of something, he still seemed lost.

"Yesss?" I stuttered, embarrassed as I could hardly speak, hoping he would just say it. The black dots continued to dance around the room. I imagined that this was what it was like after having too many drinks. Feeling weak and depressed, total darkness threatening to escape with every move. It must be scary.

"How are you feeling?" he stalled. His face looked composed, finally. His dark eyes burned into mine as he put on the mask of normalcy, but it didn't fool me. I could still look into his eyes, those eyes I had memorized many times over, and see the sadness that lingered there. There was no hiding his eyes.

_Maybe he's finally come to terms that Jacob... won. _I thought sadly. I answered his question with a quick and quiet "F- F- Fine." I leaned my head back into the pillow and closed my eyes. I knew it was rude to Edward, but I couldn't help it. I felt so sick and tired… I just wanted to sleep…

"Don't sleep!" he said quickly, looking as if he were ready to leap up to his feet again. Worry had smacked right back onto his face. I stared in astonishment at how he had reacted to me simply trying to fall asleep.

"What?" I demanded, confusion burying me in a whole. I closed my eyes again. I willed them to open, but it wasn't my choice. It was next to impossible to do so. I tried with all my might to pull them open. Was this really pregnancy, or was this something else?

I crawled deeper into the sheets, forgetting what Edward and I were talking about. I sighed as I sunk into the pillow.

"Bella." Edward spoke very softly, in front of me now.

Without opening my eyes, I answered him "Mm-hmm?" I was so tired, more than I'd ever been before. Why couldn't he come back later, after I'd slept?

I realized his fingers were lightly brushing my head as he softly hummed our lullaby. The one I hadn't heard in what seemed like years. He was finally going to let me sleep.

"I love you." He whispered to me, still brushing my hair with his fingers, ever so lightly. Now I got my eyes open, but only a little.

I watched him, as he did me. "Edward?" I said, my voice very audible.

"Yes, Bella." He said softly, sadness in his dark eyes.

"W- What's wro-ng with," I tried too take in a large breath but only caught a little air. "M-Me." I finally finished.

His touch became slower, softer as he watched my face. As he studied my face, I realized it was as if he were trying to memorize me, memorize my face and what I looked like. It... scared me.

"Nothing, dear Bella. Everyone is fine." He whispered, and continuously brushed my hair.

"No… What's…" I was having a hard time catching breath once again. "What'sss... with… m-me?" I asked quietly. I didn't feel like talking loudly. It took everything I had just to speak at all. I was so tired; I suddenly had this sensation of peace. I didn't feel like trying to keep myself awake anymore. I didn't... want... to try to fight whatever it was that was attacking me. I just wanted to let everything go... and give into this nearing peace.

I watched him as a pained look stretched on his face. "You're fine." He said to me, as if it were nothing. What was he keeping... from me?

"Ed... wa... Tell me," another small breath. "The truth…" I took in as big a breath as I could. Was I_ dying_? Was this the reason... Edward was suddenly here, watching me and trying to unveil a last chance of peace to me as he hummed? Our lullaby… our sweet... sweet lullaby…

Rather than speaking, he continued humming, his hand never leaving me. I didn't have the energy... to keep asking something he wouldn't tell me. I knew I was dying... why could he not tell me _how _I would come to an end?

Then, as if an entirely different person... had found a way into my... body, I said something that I hadn't even decided to say, my mouth working on... it's own accord "Ch...Change... me," was the only small whisper I said before the dizziness came back. I felt as I was drifting away from the bed, in another place. Everything was going away, like waking up from a really bad dream…

He ignored my request, so I gathered every piece of energy I had, and repeated the same thing. What was I asking of him? Why was I asking this? Why was... what was...

He sighed, carefully letting his arm fall from my head. At once, I reopened my eyes, watching how he reacted to my sudden question, but it hurt so much to keep them open.

"You're not mine to take." He whispered into my ear, so softly, and continued the lullaby. I was fading faster and faster. I hadn't even gotten to see my child…

"Please…" I managed. Even in the blackness of my closed eyes, it seemed to become darker and darker. "I… I c-can't d-die… I n-eeeed tosee… Ryan…" I needed to save my words. With every word that... left my mouth, I felt weaker... and weaker. My joints began to hurt, and my head began to feel as if it were strapped down, getting pulled harder and harder. _I caaan't die… _

Maybe I spoke too quietly. I needed to make sure he had heard me. "Ed- Edwa-"

"Bella, you've no idea what you are asking... Everything is going to be okay." His fingers stumbled just the slightest as they reached my... hairline. _No, _my conscience spoke to me, seeming to be the only thing left of me that was fighting. _Everything isn't going to be okay! You have... to do this! _

Obeying my brains command, I took in as big a breath that I could, a very small one with that again, and opened my mouth to speak again. "E-"

Before I even finished his name, _his beautiful name, _He spoke to me.

"Bella, everything will be okay. Don't speak; you're wasting precious energy… Just sleep." He whispered. For some reason, even when I tried to use all of my energy, I couldn't even get my eyes open, even a little. I tried with much effort, and little success. I didn't even feel my lashes move the slightest.

"Edward…" I found my voice from a far away place. "I. Need..." What did I... Ryan…" I commanded. Who was Ryan? Suddenly, I remembered my child. I had... _named_ him? My mind was playing many tricks on me... far too many for me... to get... a grip on. _Fight! Fight for Ryan! Fight... for life!_

"Plll-" "lease…" I didn't feel his hand on... my head anymore. Had he taken his hand away... or did I just not feel it?

"I can't Bella." He whispered. It sounded as if his voice was miles and miles and miles... away… Where had our lullaby gone?

"I know… Iwant… ca-can't... please…" My chest began to hurt. It was as if my body was _making_ me give up, telling me... that my time... was up. My body was no longer with me. Just when I... had thought... nothing else could..._ leave_ me... my own body...

"Ple... Edw.. w-warddd…" I could just barely feel... something on my... _cheek._ Whether it was a tear, or... his hand, maybe even an angel coming to get me... I could not tell.

Suddenly, there was another feeling. There was something brushing... brushing against my neck. I... recognized the shape... of Edward's lips... immediately. _Please…_

"Icant… d-die… Ry... aaaan…" my breath... was... out... it was... out

_Keep fighting! small voice_. Small voice said in.. my head. It would have... to wait. I ne... eeed- ed sleep.

Sleep. Lullaby. Ryan… Ry...

Ryan.

I felt something on my neck. I ignored it. "Are you sure?" somebody asked... me. "Is this what you…?" I didn't... hear the rest of sentence... the sentence... I just nodded to who spoke. _Sleep._ I need... needed sleeeep... i felt darkness... so... much darkness...

_Ouch! _Something... hurting me. Something had… somebody… I couldn't... focus.

_Was this... this was... hell... no...  
_

The pain became... worse. Had I not lacked all... energy that used to be, I would have... screamed. I couldn't even imagine trying to open my... eyes, let alone opening... my mouth to let out what little energy... I had.

Swallowing hard with my dry... throat, I stiffened. The pain wasn't letting down... it only got worse... and worse and worse… And as if the sword had finally... dropped down onto my head, I finally managed to process what... was going on.

I had... been bitten... Edward had... bitten me…

_Edward had bitten me… _

**This is personally, one of my favorite chapters, I hope you like it too****! Thanks for reading, I'll have PLENTY more chapters to come!** _  
_


	20. Chapter 20 Bluff

**Alice's P.O.V.-**

Volterra... Volterra... Edward is going to Volterra... I had to stop him this time.

I paced back and forth in front of the space I'd already spent most of day, right in front of Bella's room. The same nurses that had assisted earlier in trying to save her watched me sadly from the large desk 23 feet down the hall. One of them had come up to me several times, insisting each time that I I take a cup of water from her, but each time I rejected. I knew I eventually needed her to see me take a drink, eat even or she would seriously start to wonder things, but having a vision of Edward killing himself in Volterra for the second time... it distracted me.

I sighed, pinching my nose with my fingers as I watched the future, but every time it was the same thing, Edward tearing up things that humans can't tear up alone, the nurses screaming, him trying to escape to go to Volterra, Carlisle and I trying to hold him down, Edward only throwing me through a wall... I flinched, seeing it for the forty-seventh time today. I needed to get reinforcement, Emmett and Jasper preferably, but even Rose and Esme would have been a great help, but I couldn't get anyone with all of the wolves guarding the hospital, and I doubted any of the humans could do anything against Edward's fury that was to come.

I looked at the clock horribly; I was running out of time. Bella had no more than seven minutes before... I shook my head, pulling out my cell phone and dialing Jasper's number again. He had picked up before the first ring could finish.

"Still nothing." he growled angrily. I could hear Emmett swearing in the back ground.

"Where are you guys at?" I demanded, tapping my fingers against my side. We wouldn't be able to stop him, but Carlisle and I would still try to keep Edward from leaving. I couldn't see what happened once he escaped the hospital, but I was willing to bet that it involved the many wolves outside the hospital that wanted us dead.

"We're as close to the hospital as we can get..." he said, then growled at something I couldn't see. I closed my eyes and saw Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie, in a crouch position as they tried unsuccessfully to pass four different wolves, one of them literally dueling as he eyed Jasper closely.

"Get away from there! They could kill you!" I said, then I thought about the many trees that surrounded the Forks Hospital. "Why don't you just climb-"

"Already tried that, they just got closer to the hospital." his accent still sweet even through his stress.

"So?" I asked, but I visualized what he said back before I heard it on the phone.

"They're not afraid to attack the hospital..." he said, and his voice cracked at the end of his sentence. I narrowed my eyes. Jasper's voice cracked when he was hiding something from me... That I'd learned a long time ago.

"Jasper?" he knew that I'd caught it, and said nothing back. I stomped my foot to the ground. "Jasper Bella has a few minutes left, and Edward a little bit more than that. What the hell are you hiding?" I growled.

"One of them talked to us... in human form."

"Well, what did he say?" I demanded, the pushy nurse eying me nervously. I simply posed a fake smile at her to try and calm her down.

Jasper hesitated, and I about screamed at him through the phone. "He demanded the baby... Bella's baby... or they're going to get him themselves."

I tried to visualize what that was going to look like, but as usual I could not see through any of the wolves. I checked again to see how much more time Bella had, hoping that she had possibly earned a few minutes by some luck, but the vision was blurry. My eyes widened.

"Jasper I need to call you back."

"Alice, what's going on in there?" he demanded.

"Nothing sweety...love you." I hung up and darted passed Carlisle who stood worriedly near Bela's door, waiting for the machines to signal that it was over.

"What's going on?" he asked. I kept running in a slow, human speed as I answered him.

"There's a dog in the building." I said, then took a right down an empty hall of the ICU and ran as fats as I could go. I dashed down a flight of stairs, hardly bothering to touch most of them, and speedup down another hall on the second floor. Suddenly, I could smell the scent of what had made the vision of Bella bury; It was one of the wolves, and I knew exactly-

I had to dig my foot into the ground to keep myself from bumping into him. Not that I cared if I accidentally killed him, but I did care about the baby he held in his arms. My phone buzzed as Jasper tried to contact me, but I ignored it.

"This can be easy..." I growled, walking towards him as he backed away with the baby, his eyes wide. "Or this can be hard." I finished, reaching my arms out for him to hand me the child. He shook his head no, too afraid to say anything. Though in wolf form, it would have been a good fight, he was absolutely defenseless in his human form.

I sighed, letting my arms down. "This could have been easy." I growled, stepping right in front of him. He backed up, backing farther down the hall, almost to the staircase. Looking suspicious, I tried to see what his move would be, I could tell he was going to try something stupid, but to no surprise, I couldn't see what he decided to do.

"This can be easy." he growled back, holding closer to the baby. "Let me go, or this won't be easy.

I snorted, shaking my head. "Disgusting wolf." I muttered, my phone receiving yet another call. "I could kill you if I wanted." I warned him. "I could kill you right now."

"But you won't." he said, backing up more. I continued to follow him, knowing that i would box him in very soon.

"Is that so?" I asked, eying the baby he held.

"Yes." he answered, by the staircase now. He looked at the large wall sized window in front of the stairs, then looked at the fifteen steps it took to get down to the window. His head shot to mine then, and he stepped a little closer to the stairs. "I'll throw him!" he threatened, a very serious look on his face.

He couldn't be that stupid...

"No you won't. You want him just as much as I do." I reasoned, knowing he was lying.

"Wanna bet?" he said, holding the baby in a throwing position, using his other hand to hold me back. He was _not_ serious...

"Go for it." I teased him.

It happened fast then. My eyes widened when I realized that he really was serious, but I didn't have time to retrieve Bella's child before the horrible wolf actually threw him. As anyone would, I dove after him, but in the exact same second, the large window beside the stairs shattered into thousands of pieces as a giant wolf came crashing in, aimed right at me. Rather than save myself, I turned back around only to see that the wolf in human form had already saved Bella's baby. My eyes widened as he grinned at me from the top of the steps. I was barely able to turn around before the large wolf crushed into me, making a new dent my exact shape and size in the stairs. My phone buzzed again, and I suddenly wished I could pick it up.

**Much, much more to come :) I think it's REALLY COOL if you're still reading by the way. I'll update again very soon!**


	21. Chapter 21 Sights

**Alice's P.O.V.**

I plunged my hands forward, protecting myself from the gray wolf's furiously sharp teeth. I focused on keeping his snapping muzzle away from my neck; all he needed was less than a second of my neck exposed, and that second would be all the time he needed to separate my head from the rest of my body. I kicked him in the chest with my legs, trying to throw him off, but it was no use against his power and weight. My eyes widened as terror suddenly seized me; my phone continued to buzz, but there was nothing it could have done or me at this point, even if I could retrieve it from my pocket.

Still not giving up, I raked my long finger down the side of his muzzle, withdrawing a rotten-smelling blood. His eyes squeezed in pain as he barked out in rage. Taking the only opportunity I had, I kicked him again, this time in the stomach, and flung his body back out of the window he'd jumped through to get to me, only there was no longer any glass there. I turned, ready to race back up the stairs to catch the thieving werewolf that had Bella's baby, when another dog, a russet wolf this time, thrust himself at me, and I could feel the floor groan in protest as we almost fell through it.

The gray wolf rushed right back in by the red wolf's side as he held me down with his paw. Even with his wolf face, I could see the smug look of triumph; he knew he had me, we both did. Knowing there was nothing I could do against both of the wolves to save myself, I just prayed; just praying they would make it quick, praying that Jasper would avenge me, praying that Edward did everything in his power to not let Bella go.

The wolf standing on me raised his head, his teeth bared and I closed my eyes. Still protecting my neck, I buried my face in the floor and pictured Jasper's face, seeing what he was doing now, seeing one last-

The mutt holding me down yelped out seconds before the other did just the same. I whipped my head around in a fourteenth of a second, just in time to see Carlisle and Edward their bodies crushing into the wolves as they forced them out of the hospital. I was up in a millisecond. I followed them out of the window and stood by them, baring my fangs at the wolves as they stood up. They growled back at us, the russet wolf drooling he wanted to kill us so badly. But before they had the chance to leap back at us again, another wolf, far in the distance howled at the darkening sky. Digging his claws into the ground, the russet one turned away for a split second, then turned back at us, and looked right at Edward. I took a step toward him, protecting my family, but Edward held his hand out, holding me back.

"Don't." he warned, hearing something we didn't. I turned to him, shocked for a second, and turned back to the wolf that was eying him so hatefully. I understood then that this wolf was probably Jacob; the look of pure hatred he gave Edward, wanting to kill him so badly that he didn't even focus on Carlisle and I... It made sense.

"What is it, Edward?" I said lowly, still ready to attack if it became necessary. My phone buzzed for what seemed like the hundredth time. I pictured Jasper, and of course I just saw him calling me again and again, Emmett telling him to calm the hell down. I wanted to pick up and reassure him that I was okay, but now still seemed an inappropriate time to talk to him with the wolves and all, so I continued to ignore it.

Edward stiffened, letting him arm down as his eyes narrowed. Jacob growled at him once, and Edward swallowed. "The treaty is broken." he said quietly, and Carlisle's eye brows pulled together then in concern.

"On what grounds?" Carlisle demanded, still watching the wolves warily. His voice was peaceful as it always was, but at the same time, it wasn't a soothing and sweet voice that he used. It was blatantly obvious the answer, so I couldn't help but wonder why Carlisle even bothered asking. Jacob growled angrily back at him, and it was clear that Jacob wasn't a fool; or he just wasn't being one now anyway.

"Bella's heart was failing, there was no other choice." Carlisle responded back, the three of us still crouched and ready to battle.

"And I suppose you'd rather her have_ died_." Edward scoffed a second and a half later, directed toward Jacob, and instead of answering in his head as he had done up to this point, he simply nodded in response. Edward was furious; I saw the look then, that look Edward had every time before he went into another room to destroy a tv or which ever poor item it was that was nearest. I knew that look all to well.

"Edward don't." I said quickly, holding him back as he snarled hatefully at Jacob for wanting Bella dead. Had I not been faster than him, there's no way I would have been able to hold Edward back from starting a nasty fight. "Think about Bella." I warned him, imagining the wolves successfully ripping us to shreds, then entering the hospital to do the same to Bella.

Edward stopped struggling then, taking in what I'd pictured. Though it was not one of my visions, it could seriously happen if we weren't careful. He grimaced, considering his options, then pulled away from me, taking a step toward Jacob.

"She doesn't deserve this." he muttered, shaking his head. He looked back to Jacob then, anger still visible on his face. "Fine." was all he said. My eyes shot to him for the smallest part of a second, wondering what he'd just agreed to. But before I could ask, Jacob huffed, then ran off with the gray wolf, not looking back.

Edward stood back up, but Carlisle and I both hesitated before standing from our crouch positions as well. We both turned to Edward then, wondering the same thing. Reading our minds, he answered our questions before we could say them aloud.

He sighed, looking in the exact place that the wolves had disappeared seconds before. "They only agreed not to attack..." he swallowed, looking to the ground now.

"What son?" Carlisle asked.

Again, Edward looked toward the wolves direction, his fists tightening in anger. "They agreed not to attack if we agreed in return, to surrender Bella's child... permanently." he said each word carefully, his teeth clenched. I couldn't hear his thoughts as he could mine, but I knew him enough to know that he was hating himself now.

"Why not fight?" I said immediately, more than ready to rip the fur from the wolves that had attacked me just minutes before. "It's Bella's child!" I squeaked, unbelieving that Edward would agree to such a thing.

Edward looked to me then, and I realized then that he probably knew something I didn't. "They're prepared _now_." he responded simply.

My eyes widened, taking in his words, understanding the logic to agreeing to the mutt's obscure conditions. I couldn't see what would become of it with my special gift, but I knew now that starting a fight now, as separated and outnumbered as we were, would end tragically. But starting one later... when the dogs _weren't_ ready... our chances were suddenly a hell of a lot higher.

I chased Edward back into the building, knowing that he was heading straight for Bella.

"But what about Ryan?" I asked him, taking the flight of stairs in less than a second. He turned back to the shattered window, narrowing his eyes.  
Carlisle came through the window then, looking back at Edward.

"I need to tend to Bella." he said, "Do you mind making this an accident?" Carlisle asked him. Edwards fists tightened, and I knew he desperately wanted to be with Bella as much as he could.

"I'll do it." I said quickly, and jumped back outside the window before Edward could object.

"Thanks." he mouthed to me, continuing back to the second floor with Carlisle. I sighed and looked around at the many trees, searching for the right one. I found a tall oak and gripped it, not able to wrap my small arms fully around the trunk. I closed my eyes, making sure first that no humans and unexpected surprises were coming my way before pulling the trees roots from the ground with ease.

I set the top half of the tree in the window carefully, making it to look as if the tree had miraculously fallen into the hospital somehow. Humans really were naïve...

My phone buzzed in my pocket again, and I remembered that Jasper was probably still having a panic attack. I pictured him before picking up the phone, only to see that he was both angry and worried. I sighed quietly, then hit the 'answer' button before placing the speaker to my ear.

"Do you know how worr-"

"I know." I responded, bouncing off my toes and using my free arm to sling myself back into the window, avoiding accidentally hitting the tree.

"Something could have-"

"I know." I said again. I knew it annoyed him that he could hardly finish a sentence being that i always knew what he was going to say, but I knew he liked it to. I smiled to myself as I bounded the stairs in one leap. "Sorry sweety." I said in a pouting tone, knowing that he also loved that.

Jasper sighed, finally calmed. "Don't do that again... _please_." he said. "I can't see if you're okay like you can."

"I know." I said, smiling at how cute it was when his Texas-accent mixed with his stress. It made me miss him.

Finally dropping the topic, he moved on to the wolves. "The mutts left. They just left with no fight. I think they're up to-"

"Come back to the hospital, I'll explain everything to you... Bella's on the second floor." I added the last part, already knowing he was about to ask about her.

"Is... Edward okay?" he asked, concerned for his brother.

"He's fine. I'll explain everything when you're back." I said again, slowing down to a human speed before getting close enough to where Edward could hear me. I closed my eyes to watch Jasper's reaction before actually telling him, then after seeing his reaction, decided that it was okay to go ahead and tell him. "He saved Bella." I said quietly, in case Edward could hear me. I closed my eyes then to watch his reaction.

Jasper stopped where he was, taking in what I'd said. Emmett, several dozen feet ahead, was in front of Jasper in less than a second. "What happened?" he asked, looking around for wolves. Jasper didn't respond. Rather than respond, Jasper just stood there.

"Is... I thought..." Emmett continued to pester Jasper for information, Jasper simply swung at him lazily, trying to shoo him off as he stared at nothing in particular.

I reopened my eyes and continued back to Bella's hospital room, walking at a human pace. "He's okay... but everything will work out. I can see it." I lied right through my teeth, grateful that Jasper didn't catch it; I saw Bella, and I saw her with Edward, but they were not together, at least not in the way that a couple would be. They were apart, both of them more miserable than I'd seen yet. And to top it all off, Bella's child was not in the picture, I knew because if he _was _there, he would keep me from seeing anything. But all of my visions were perfectly clear; not a sign of Bella's child. I gulped.

I took my place again across from Bella's room as I had already done several times today and sighed. Having nothing else to do as I waited, I closed my eyes and mentally blocked out all noises, focusing as best I could on-

"Can I get you anything, darling?" All in less than a second, I stiffened, visioned what the nurse was going to say, and groaned to myself in annoyance. I opened my eyes and smiled in even less time.

"No thank you, I'm fine." I said in the sweetest voice I could muster for her.

"Don't you-"

"I actually just returned from lunch, so I will not be needing anything to eat for a while." I interrupted her. She seemed a little taken aback that I'd answered her question before she could even bring up the food thing again. Simply nodding, she walked her slow human pace back to the nurses desk and proceeded to ask her co-worker friend 'Betty' if she seemed annoying. I honestly couldn't feel bad for damaged the poor woman's self-of-steam at the moment, at least not with all that was on my mind at the moment.

I refocused myself, leaning my head against the wall behind me. Knowing that there was no possibility of seeing the future of Bella's child,I jumped to Bella. I saw her red eyes open as she awoke in a few days, not being enough, I jumped further into the future, seeing Edward and Bella sitting beside each other, both of them ruining perfectly good clothes on the damp ground they sat and talked on. Shaking my head, I went even further, seeing the both of them again, only this time, they were arguing. Quickly, not wanting to see what they fought about, I searched even further. The entire family, including Bella was headed for La Push, and I knew I'd finally found-

"I saw the window, what the hell happened?" Jasper demanded, suddenly beside me.

Scoffing, I looked to him, and he sensed my annoyance immediately. "I swear, every time I try to see something someone or some_thing_ always interrupts!" I pouted, crossing my arms.

He waited a few seconds for me to recover from my pouting before asking again. "The window?" he pressed.

"Tree fell into it." I shrugged simply, but he was not convinced.

It was Emmett that responded this time. "Oh come on Alice, we've used that tree-excuse enough already to know that we missed a _good_ fight!" He grinned madly, his eyes demanding details.

When I said nothing, Jasper just grew more impatient. "Alice, what happened?" he asked again.

"A. Tree. Fell." I said again. He threw his hands up in frustration, rolling his eyes. "Ask Edward!" I commanded him, nudging my elbow across the hall to where he was, but he only ignored it.

"Are you really not going to tell me?" he asked, watching me until I met his eyes with mine.

"Where's Rose and Esme?" I asked curiously. Putting his head in his hands, Jasper just leaned on the wall beside me.

Emmett laughed at Jasper's episode and answered for him. "They're on mutt-duty." he said, scribbling something in the dust on the picture hanging up beside him. Out of habit, my mind flickered to Esme and Rosalie, making sure they were okay as they watched for wolves. Seeing that they were fine, I studied a small crack in the wall that humans probably couldn't see without some type of tool. Realizing that almost a full minute had passed, I looked to the nurses station to see that the nosey nurse was staring at us oddly. She looked away then, shuffling through random papers.

I sighed. "One of the mutts stole Ryan."

"Ryan?" Jasper questioned.

"Bella's child." I explained, and when he didn't respond, I went on. "And another one of the dogs... kind of went through a window to try and keep me from getting him back. That's all." I shrugged. Jasper groaned before I'd even finished.

Emmett bursted out in laughter as he continued drawing in the dust with his pale finger. Jasper nudged him in the side, hard enough that it would have put a human in one of the near-by hospital rooms.

"God Alice, and you did this _alone_?"he demanded.

"Calm down, Carlisle and Edward were on the next floor, it's not like anything happened." I argued, but Jasper just shook his head. "I knew I shouldn't have told you. You worry too much."

"Wolves jumping out of windows-"

All three of us turned as Edward left the room, Bella looking thin and frail in his arms as he carried her. He nudged his head toward the nurses station, wanting us to distract them. Emmett went immediately, and I rolled my eyes when I realized that his big distraction was 'flirting' but somehow, it worked. Edward was on the next floor in a third of a second.

I looked to Jasper then, taking his hand in mine. "You're still in trouble." he smiled. Seeing that it would work, I kissed him, then pulled away, looking deeply into his eyes.

"Okay, not that much." he reasoned, and I was satisfied. As we walked, I looked curiously to the picture Emmett had drawn in the dust and immediately groaned in disgust. "Emmett!" I spat as I wiped the inappropriate drawing with my sleeve. He only laughed in response.

"I'm telling Rose." I said smugly, and his eyes widened immediately. Jasper and I laughed as we walked together, heading back home. The home that was now Bella's as well.

**Sorry, this chapter took two days to post. But it's here now for you to enjoy! Reviews are totally appreciated guys - Thanks for reading! :]**


	22. Chapter 22 Mirror

**Bella P.O.V.-**

_Don't scream. Don't scream. Don't scream. I'm dying. No, I'm in hell. Don't scream. Don't scream. Don't scream..._

The pain... excruciating, hellish, horrifying... and it was in my legs, my arms, chest, my stomach, head, my _eyes_ even… but it was worst in my heart. every cell in every part of my body was on fire times a thousand. I'd never experienced burning alive in my life, but I would happily take it in place of what I was suffering at the moment.

I understood for the first time then, why Edward had always been so tentative, when we were to together, to change me. I was deeply convinced that someone was twisting and pulling evilly at all of my teeth with a wrench, and every inch of my skin feeling as if it were being ripped under the claws of a vile and unforgiving demon-like tiger. I even hurt in places I'd never felt pain before; The fire licking at every one of my organs, leaving a scorching trail of misery behind it. I hadn't even thought it _possible_ for me to feel my heart, liver, and other parts of my insides to hurt until now. There was nothing that didn't hurt, not a single part of my body wasn't suffering in some horrid way.

It seemed as if dozens of generations had begun and end by the time the very tips of my fingers realized the heat, replaced with a gentle numbness. They were like this for a few minutes before I could feel them again. Painfully slowly, the rest of my body followed my finger and toes as the pain dissolved. The pain would let down, the numbness would begin, and then I would feel better. I was sure it was almost over when suddenly I felt my heart begin to race.

It beat faster and faster, I felt as if my heart was trying to break free from my rib cage and out into the world. My heart should be _stopping _now, not beating faster...

I could hear the soft padding of approaching feet. To distracted from the pain, I hadn't even tried yet to think about where I was. I hadn't opened my eyes once, so I had no clue. Was I still at the hospital? Was I left somewhere in a forest to burn in misery? Or was I really in hell after all...

Suddenly able to hold a coherent thought, a thousand different memories smacked into my brain like a train. _Edward. Jacob. Alice. Baby. Ryan. Wolves. Cullen's. Vampire.  
_

_Vampire.  
_

The last one seemed frozen in place, the only thing I could concentrate on for a full four seconds. Vampire. A part of me had known all along that this pain was the result of me changing, but it hadn't exactly fully registered until now; I was indeed changing into a vampire.

I remembered falling in pain, calling Edward, giving birth to Ryan, blackness, sleepiness, Edward biting me, pain... just pure pain after that. What would he do when he found out I had changed? He had to understand! If I hadn't changed, I wouldn't have survived whatever it was that almost took my life. I wouldn't be alive now. Surly Jacob would see why I had no choice…

I wanted to open my eyes, but I feared doing so. For now, life was okay. It wasn't amazing or perfect, but it was okay. I was just lying here comfortably while the world moved on. When I opened my eyes again, everything would be back to the way things were. Jacob and Edward would be still be angry and hurt, The Cullen's and wolves would still be rivals, and I would now be a vampire; living forever with nothing to truly live for... But then again, there was still Ryan. If anything, I had to face my silly fears and stand up to this bully called Life. I could do it. For Ryan, I could.

And with that, I opened my eyes for what seemed like the first time.

The first thing I did with my newly opened eyes, was gasp. It seemed the only logical thing to do as I took it all in, _everything_ that is. I saw... I saw... _everything!_ I'd never had eye problems in my human life, and always assumed my eyes were pretty decent in comparison with most, but I'd been more mistaken than I ever could have guessed. My eyes slowly moved as they followed a speck of dust, floating randomly in the air. I could see the way thousands of microscopic pieces of dirt piled up to form just this one piece of dust. I wanted to catch it then, to hold it in my hand and just observe it for hours, but the sound of someone shifting their body, my mind came back to its senses and I realized where I was.

I sat up then, and found myself again shocked at something new; it seemed as if it had only taken my a sixteenth of a second to sit up... or had it? I took in a deep breath, only to realize how unnecessary it now was. I didn't need air now... I stopped adventuring with the new things I could to so that I could focus on that one fact; I didn't need _air._..

"Bella…" Carlisle asked. My head whipped toward him immediately. His voice was... different? I assumed it was probably because I was hearing with newly advanced ears, but there was something else to the way he spoke to me. There was something in me, my instinct perhaps, nagging at me catch the small hint of worry in Carlisle's voice. something wasn't right...

In less than a second, my eyes shot to everyone, Rosalie, looking down at the floor, completely expressionless. Alice and Esme standing together, both of their faces laced with curiosity, excitement, and... worry? I forced myself to ignore it, I was just seeing it. I looked next, to Emmett ad Jasper, both of them standing front and center. I noticed immediately the way Jasper's eyes narrowed, Emmett's crossed arms. I was stunned at first, thinking that this a sign o hate, only to realize they were only watching me so closely this way in case I couldn't control myself. If my newborn brain suddenly had the urge to fling myself out the window and find the nearest human, they would be there to catch me before I could do anything I would later regret. I was thankful then that they were there to protect me from myself.

Then I turned to Edward.

My breath caught at the sight of him, not only taken aback by how beautiful he truly was, but just seeing for myself that he was actually here. I was shocked. All that I had put Edward through in the last months of my human life, yet he still came when I gave birth to Jacob's child, he saved my life when I lay before him dying, and now here he was, continuing to watch over me as I awoke to my new life. The life that he had given me, the life I _didn't_ deserve.

He didn't meet my eyes; he stared at Carlisle, his eyes narrowing probably from something his father thought. A small part of me was curious in what he had thought to make Edward look at him like that, was it something bad? Had something about me turned out wrong? I remembered then that Carlisle had asked me a question about a third of a second ago, and with that, I turned lastly to him, my stomach dropping when he looked to me worriedly.

"Y- Yes?" I managed lowly, both embarrassed and surprised at my new gentle bell-like voice. I struggled to hold my head still, wanting badly to turn back to Edward. I owed him my life, everything I owned, everything I loved, and more. I would never have anything to give him, no words to truly tell him how grateful I was. I would forever be in debt to him. He had saved my life, and allowed me the ability to see my child once more. I owed him so much… I began to wonder why he even bothered saving me, but Carlisle distracted me, tearing my thoughts away from Edward briefly.

"How are you feeling?" Everything was different. It was almost _insane_ to think that I was no longer human; I just wasn't used to it. I wanted to walk around, feel the balance that vampires had when they went here and there. I wanted to run faster than any human would ever dream of, and feel the air hit my face with power and might. I wanted to _go_.

So many thoughts went through my head, yet they only took fractions of a second to think of them all. Without even having to think about it, I answered Carlisle's question. "I'm fine." I heard Edward stop breathing then, his eyes closed; he was completely still. I was almost _positive_ he was angry with me then, until he opened his eyes. I stopped breathing as well when I saw the sadness in them, that look one gets before crying. Even if such a thing wasn't even possible for Edward to do, he still had the look. He looked away quickly, not wanting me to see his sadness, but it was too late. It was unmistakable; he was hurt, and I'd hurt him.

I wished so much then that he hadn't changed me. i wish that i hadn't even asked him to do so. I didn't deserve to be able to talk now, to be able to stand and run and breath. All I deserved was death followed by constant suffering. Though I didn't want it to, the thought creeped into my brain, making itself heard. I deserved _hell._ There was no other way to put it.

I thought about jumping from the window then, running through the forest until I was so far that no one could find me. Emmett and Jasper would be fast, but I was a newborn; I was both stronger and faster than them, I could make it. All I had to do was just go.

Alice gasped silently then, Edward's head snapping toward hers, his eyes widened. I realized then, my stomach dropping, that he had seen what I had been about to do. And the way that Alice looked as she watched my escape silently, I knew that I was right; I would outrun Emmett and Jasper. It was possible. Without looking back, Jasper took a step toward me, his brow furrowed in both concern.

I could run away. But... I couldn't. Not after being so close to Ryan. I didn't deserve to see my child, to get to hold him and love him the way any mother wanted to, but my selfishness took over and I knew that i couldn't leave. Not if it meant leaving Ryan.

Alice's face smoothed then, her worry gone. Closing his eyes again, Edward sighed in relief, forgetting again that i could hear everything now. I was completely shocked again. Edward was... _relieved?_ Shouldn't he have been angry that I wasn't going to leave his family in peace, never going to hurt him anymore? I didn't understand-

"I was referring rather to your thirst. I assume you're probably..." Carlisle's words drifted off as my eyes widened, my hands twitching at the sudden pain I felt. Just at the mention of my thirst, I was concentrated on it enough to suddenly feel the pain I'd paid no attention to until now. Compared to the pain I'd just awoken from, it wasn't really bad at all, but it still burned enough that it made all other thoughts dissolve. "That's what I thought." he continued, looking slightly more relaxed.

Alice left then, silently exiting the door behind her in amazing speed. Swallowing, I tried to put the thought of the pain aside enough to focus on what was on my mind. It was a lot harder now that I'd felt the pain, but I managed to ball up enough focus to speak.

"Where..." I didn't get the rest out, having to swallow again to try to put out the fire that demanded attention in my throat. Before anyone could answer, Alice came back, something thin and black in her hand. She nudged Jasper out-of-the-way, him looking at her in surprise as she did, and held the object out.

"I'm here." She said. I debated mentioning she wasn't the person I had been about to ask for, but not wanting to hurt her feelings, I instead took the object that she offered me. Gripping it lightly so as not to crush it, I flipped it over.

I saw the red eyes before I saw that it was a mirror in my hand.

I gasped, the air burning my dry throat as it rushed past the fiery burn. I'd known that my eyes would be red, but what I'd pictured in my head did no justice to what I saw now. There weren't many ways to describe it except that it was bright. So very bright. I began to notice the other features on my face then, mostly that it held no flaws, but I couldn't stand to look at it, for each line of my face, no matter how perfected, was an awful reminder of the gift I didn't deserve.

I handed it back to her and saw her disappointed expression in the glass I held. I looked up to her quickly, hating just how easily I hurt people anymore. "I'll look later, I promise." I said to her. Not pressing the subject any further, she smiled sweetly at me and reached her arm back out to take it. Her silky sleeve fell the slightest as she reached for it and I froze. Before I realized what I was doing, I grabbed her arm holding it steadily. Her eyes widening then, she tried to pull her arm away, but was no match to my new strength.

"Bella?" she asked, her eyes watching mine carefully. "My arm?" Jasper and Emmett both came closer, having no clue what was going on.

I could feel the entire families eyes on me, but I could not let it go. "Alice what is that?" I asked, looking at the scar she had just above her elbow.

She rushed to pull her sleeve back down with her other arm, but I had already seen it. Our eyes met, mine filled with terror, her filled with nervousness. It seemed then as if we had an unspoken connection, her eyes pleading me to let it go, my eyes begging for her to tell me that the scar wasn't recent.

She clearly wanted to keep the scar a secret, and I felt bad then for having brought it up. I loosened my grip on her, and she pulled away quickly, looking at the ground, but I could not take back what I'd already done. His face expressionless, Jasper took a step towards his wife, his hand reaching for her sleeve. She shook him off quickly, then held up the mirror in her hand.

"I'll just put this back now..." But Jasper did not let her go.

"Alice." he said concerned, and I knew then that i had really screwed up.

"it's nothing, I just thought I saw something is all." I said quickly, hoping silently that he would let it go, but my words were useless.

Probably seeing that he would not let it go, she sighed and allowed him to see the scar on her arm. His eyes widened in panic, seeing for the first time what she had hidden successfully until now. "Alice..." he said quietly, horrified. "You told me you weren't hurt." he stated.

She shrugged. "I wasn't." she said easily, taking back her arm and allowing the sleeve to fall back over the scar. Jasper opened his mouth to say something to her, but seeing what he was about to say, Alice spoke quicker. "It's nothing. I was okay then and I'm okay now. Let it go for now." as she said the lat sentence, her eyes shot slightly towards me, as if she were gesturing to me. Had I been human, I would have completely missed it, but I wasn't human anymore, and I'd seen it.

Understanding, Jasper let it go and stepped back beside Emmett, putting on a normal face again, but I couldn't let it go as he had.

"Ali-"

"You should go hunting now, you need to drink soon before you go mad." she said, stepping back beside Esme. She looked at the ground, wanting me to let it go.

I stared after her, horrified. I could feel Edward's eyes on me now, but I couldn't look back at him. I looked to the ground, surprised when tears didn't fall from my eyes and shook my head. "I'm so sorry." I whispered.

She looked back to me, shrugging. "He would have seen it anyway." That wasn't what i meant and she knew it. Seeing that I was about to argue with her, she turned to Carlisle. "She won't last much longer." she said, trying to get me to leave the topic alone.

Carlisle turned to me then. "Alice is right, you should-"

"No, I can wait." I said stubbornly, watching Alice who didn't look back. "Alice what _happened_."

She huffed, shooting a look at Edward as if she knew he could distract me. Right as I began to say something else, Edward spoke. "Bella, she's not lying to you. You really do need to hunt." he said softly, and for the first time, my eyes met with his. I froze then, unable to tear away from seeing him. His eyes were the same they had always been, except that it was as if his eyes were magnified. I could see so much deeper into them now. I could see the beauty, the stress, and the hunger within the.

I could see so deeply into his dark eyes, that I could even see that he was hiding something from me.

I looked back to Alice, refusing to be distracted any longer. "Alice."

"Bella, pleas-'

"Tell me what happened." It was both a demand and beg. I knew something had happened. Something I had been too sick, dying, or changing into a vampire to have known about, but something happened. I didn't care that the burn in my throat burned more by the second, nagging at me to drink, I had to know what I had caused.

Alice just looked back at me, knowing I wasn't going to let go. Seeing no resolve, she crossed her arms and finally told me what i wanted to hear; only that a part of me _didn't_ want to hear what she was about to tell me.

"The wolves attacked the hospital." she said dryly.

"Because of me..." I said looking to the floor, sadness creeping through my now empty heart.

"No." she said, and I looked back up to her. Edward shot her a warning glance, but she simply ignored him. I knew I didn't want to hear her next statement out of her mouth, only because a part of me already knew what she was going to say. But rather than cover my ears, my hands stayed where they were, unmoving as they betrayed me. "Because of Ryan." she corrected, and I felt like Jelly. I expected to pass out then, and it took me a second to realize why I hadn't done so yet.

"And they hurt you... because you saved Ryan. You- you did save him, right Alice?"

Esme and Alice both looked to the ground, Emmett and Jasper's expressions softened, and Rosalie just crossed her arms, looking out the window near her. A growl erupted from Edward's chest, and I realized as he glared at her with hateful eyes, that she had thought something he didn't like. I normally would have tried to guess what awful thing she probably thought to me, but Ryan was all I could think about now.

"Alice...?" I whispered, but she just stared back with a sad expression on her face.

"I'm so sorry Bella." she breathed, quiet enough that i wouldn't have heard it without my new immortal ears. I shook my head, shock lacing every cell in m brain. _It wasn't true.. it wasn't..._

I began to breathe heavy then, though i could have stopped at any point. I stared at an individual curl in the carpet, waiting for it to become blurry as tears filled my eyes, but nothing. Not a single cry.

_No... he was the only reason I'd asked Edward to... I didn't... How could he be... gone?_

"Bella." Edward spoke softly again, bringing me from my mental freak out. He sounded in pain as he spoke.

"Yes?" I breathed quietly, still staring at the carpet with little interest.

"We will get him back." he promised, and I looked at him then, his face matching his pained voice. I knew he regretted changing me, was probably even wondering why he'd changed me in the first place. I still didn't know why.

I looked at the others then, each of them individually. Even Rosalie held the smallest look of pain as she stared back. How could they... still... _fight_ for me? Every one of them looked back at me so confidently, silently agreeing with what Edward had said. After all I had put Edward through, after what I'd probably put them through as well, and they would still fight for me! That would be risking their lives!

As if reading my mind, Carlisle responded to my mixed thoughts. "Bella, you are a part of our family now, that is if you choose to stay." I flinched at the second part of his sentence. "What matters to you matters to us."

I looked back to the ground, what he said to me sinking in. I wanted- no, I _needed_ Ryan. I had no point to life without him, and I died trying to get him then so be it. But I couldn't put Alice and Emmett and Esme and Edward... i couldn't let them die. Not for me. I would never be able to live with myself if something happened to them because of m-

Alice was beside me suddenly, her hand in mine. "Let's go hunting." she smiled softly, and before I could object, she dragged me downstairs at my new vampire speed, away from her all-to-willing family.

"Don't worry Bella." she said as I stared back terrified. "If it wasn't safe, I wouldn't let anyone go after your son." she said, and a little confidence shot through me without my permission. My head began to wonder before I could stop it.

_Alice could see nothing happening... she could see us okay... with my child... If we were heading to our death, Alice would see nothing happening afterward, but if she could see all of us just fine..._

My thoughts continued to hope freely as I ran at amazing speed toward the forest with Alice.

_I was already a horrible person for all that I had done, but Jacob had also hurt me, and if he had allowed his pack to put Alice and her family's lives at risk to get our son..._

My eyes narrowed angrily as I realized that the scar on Alice's arm was proof that Jacob would have let his pack do _anything_ to get Ryan...

I ran faster, my anger powered by my hate for Jacob Black, now controlling my actions.

_You put my family at risk to get Ryan,_ I thought to Jacob, knowing he couldn't hear me. _Fine. we'll put your family at risk._ _And we _will_ get Ryan back. _

Alice smiled at me then, seeing my decision._  
_

_Let the wars begin._

_**I hope you've got the chills right about now, I sure do! Bella isn't going down without a fight, and Ryan, so it should get pretty interesting soon!. :D I'll update as soon as i can for you guys- Every review/feedback is deeply appreciated, good or bad! Thanks for reading so far everyone! =)**  
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